David McElroy

An Alien Sent to Observe the Human Race

THE McELROY ZOO: Meet Amelia, the white kitten who was so filthy she appeared gray

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On a warm July evening almost 11 years ago, I had just left a cheap steak joint in Birmingham after a meal. I was about to get into my car when I heard a small sound. I was in a hurry, so I almost didn’t check it out. Eleven years later, I’m glad I did.

The sound I’d heard was a very small and very weak “meow.” There was a scared and hungry kitten underneath the car parked next to me. I got down on the ground to look. Very tentatively, two scared and hesitant eyes looked back at me from just around the edge of a tire. There was no way the kitten behind those terrified eyes was going to intentionally let me get anywhere close to her. Keep Reading

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It’s OK to volunteer for tornado cleanup, but only if you’re not a pro

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In Minnesota, Mike Haege watched a couple of weeks ago as a tornado tore through the Minneapolis neighborhood where his sister lives. He knows the neighborhood and wanted to help. Since Haege owns a tree trimming and removal business, he was the perfect candidate to volunteer. He’s an expert at the services that were most immediately required and he had the right equipment to do the work.

The day after the storm, he drove the 40 miles or so with his equipment to volunteer to work. He registered with the appropriate agency to volunteer and then headed out with a representative from the agency to start work.

Let’s mention that companies that do paid services of this type have to be licensed by the cities in which they work. Haege knows that and is licensed in the cities where he normally works, but he doesn’t work in Minneapolis, so he doesn’t have a license from the city. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

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New command from the French state: ‘Thou shalt not say Facebook or Twitter on TV or radio’

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The French state is famous for banning words because they’re allegedly threats to the purity of the French language, but the latest ban on words is goofy even by the country’s absurdist standards. French broadcasters are no longer allowed to refer to Facebook or Twitter on the air.

No, this isn’t a joke. You’re not reading something lifted from the pages of the Onion. The French state regulator has decided that TV and radio channels can’t direct viewers and listeners to “like” them on Facebook or “follow them” on Twitter. This is now deemed advertising, so it is verboten. (Wait. That’s German. It’s probably not allowed in a story about French, so never mind.)

There’s no way I can do justice to this absurd story, so just take a look at this piece from a guy living in Paris. The only point I want to make here is that when you give the state the power to make such decisions, it’s your fault when the absurdities happen. Why should a state even have the power to make this decision?

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