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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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‘One more thing’ can never bring the peace we can have right now

By David McElroy · May 11, 2023

What would it take to make you happy? To feel content? To feel satisfied with life?

We use different words to talk about this, but almost everybody instinctively knows what I’m talking about. Most of us have some story we tell ourselves about what it would take for us to feel at peace with our lives.

Some people think more money would make them happy. Others care little about money but crave the love and acceptance they’ve always needed. Others want power or social status. They want others to see them some particular way. They think if they had a particular house or car or boat — or something — they would be able to be content with the world and at peace with their lives.

I’m no different. I’ve had money in the past, but found it brought little peace. At this point in my life, I’d love to have more money, but I know it wouldn’t change my satisfaction with life. It wouldn’t give me the peace I crave.

My holy grail right now is connection — to be loved, accepted, valued and understood. Some deep part of me believes I would be happy — would have peace, find contentment, whatever you want to call it — if I simply had a family and some deep community connection. I have a beautiful and loving picture of what that life could look like. And I feel as though it would change everything.

But I have the nagging intuition that I’m wrong. In my gut, I have the terrible feeling that if I can’t be happy or content or at peace right now — when I’m alone and lack many of the things I want — I wouldn’t find those things if all my dreams suddenly came true.

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You have to do your own thing, even when crowds don’t ‘get it’

By David McElroy · May 8, 2023

When I was in college, a morning television show debuted on NBC with a comedian I’d never heard of. His name was David Letterman.

I was soon skipping class to watch this show. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen. The comedy was original and irreverent. I kept trying to get other people to watch it, but nobody I knew was impressed. Pretty soon, it became clear that very few people anywhere were impressed. NBC quickly canceled a brilliantly funny show.

After Letterman eventually became a big star on late-night television, I read about why the morning show failed. Those inside the business said the comedy was simply too new and different for the audience that was watching morning television. Viewers who had grown accustomed to tuning in for game shows and soap operas weren’t ready for David Letterman’s wacky comedy.

Maybe you eventually liked Letterman. Maybe you didn’t. That’s not my point. It’s just that by the standards of the market he entered, his work was too different. It wasn’t what the audience wanted. And he failed.

But Letterman didn’t change his work after that to make the audience happy. He kept doing his wacky and irreverent brand of comedy. He worked hard and eventually earned a late-night spot on NBC. By then, a younger crowd had found him — and he became a wildly successful entertainer.

As I get ready for the debut of my own show on YouTube — The David McElroy Show — I keep thinking about Letterman. It’s not that I have his talent or that I’m even trying to be a comedian. It’s simply that I’m making something that’s different from the rest of what I see on YouTube — and I strongly suspect that a lot of people are not going to “get it.”

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As I start a live video show, I feel just as lost as I felt 12 years ago

By David McElroy · April 19, 2023

When I launched this website 12 years ago, I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do with it. As I’m going through another startup — a YouTube show called David McElroy Live — I remember how lost I felt when I started here.

Tom Briscoe had done political cartoons — very good ones — for a newspaper I had owned many moons ago. In early 2011, we got together for lunch to catch up after not seeing each other for a long time. Tom told me that I really needed to start a website to put my writing online.

I was intrigued, but the idea also scared me. What would I write about? What if nobody ever read what I wrote? Would I be humiliated if I failed?

With Tom’s help, I got my site set up. The first things I wrote were awful. I had no audience. I had no concept for what I was trying to do. I averaged 66 page views a day during that month. I was afraid I’d never find an audience or a niche that made sense.

Now I’m starting a live YouTube show and I have the same fears.

I don’t have a clear concept of what I’m going to do. I’m afraid I won’t be interesting. I’m afraid I won’t be able to attract an audience. For the first time in a long time, I’m a clueless beginner once more.

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I caught the tail end of the Thursday evening suns I caught the tail end of the Thursday evening sunset, but just enough to see some lovely pastel colors fill the sky. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
This was the view just after sunset Tuesday evenin This was the view just after sunset Tuesday evening near my house. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
At sunset Tuesday evening, the cloud cover over me At sunset Tuesday evening, the cloud cover over me was solidly gray and black, but one tiny break in the clouds appeared just for a few minutes to show a little bit of sunset’s colorful light. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I just remembered that I caught the sun just befor I just remembered that I caught the sun just before it slipped beneath the horizon Tuesday evening. This is near my house just east of Birmingham. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
This was another experiment with a moon photo — This was another experiment with a moon photo — with my iPhone — but I allowed the moon to be overexposed in order to get the clouds in the foreground to show up. I’d really like to figure out how pros do shots of this sort. I don’t have it even close to right. #nature #naturephotography #sky #clouds #moon #iphone14
This is the sunset I just watched right after dinn This is the sunset I just watched right after dinner. It was one of the most vibrantly colorful displays I’ve seen in weeks. It was really beautiful. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I don’t have the right lens to photograph the mo I don’t have the right lens to photograph the moon properly, but there are some nights when I try anyway. The longest lens I have goes to 240mm, which means I have to enlarge a tiny part of the frame way too much. But even if I had the right lens, I’m not sure I’ve figured out how to expose the moon decently while still showing some stars around it. Tonight’s attempt has given me a grainy moon and pinpricks of stars that become invisible when viewed at normal size. (Blow this up with your fingers in the app and you can see the tiny stars.) I really want to learn how to do this better, so if anyone has tips for me, I’d be happy to hear them. #nature #naturephotography #sky #moon
It’s been really hot in Birmingham today, so I’ve been thinking about how much I’m looking forward to fall. My iPhone must’ve been reading my mind, because it just showed this photo from November 2016 to me as a featured photo from my library. I remember this day well. It was in Trussville, which is just east of Birmingham. #nature #naturephotography #colorful #autumn #autumnleaves #birmingham #alabama
I just remembered this sunset photo that I took th I just remembered this sunset photo that I took this evening when I had stopped to get gasoline on I-20 just east of Birmingham. I was pumping gas when I suddenly realized the sky had erupted with bright pastel colors. I didn’t have time to get my “real” camera, so I just quickly shot two frames with my iPhone at the edge of the parking lot. It keeps surprising me just how good cameras on our smartphones have become. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
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Alex will keep purring for as long as you’re wil Alex will keep purring for as long as you’re willing to rub and scratch him. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
How do cats sleep sitting up like this? They all s How do cats sleep sitting up like this? They all seem to know how — and Alex is no exception. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Alex is having a vicious battle with a plastic dri Alex is having a vicious battle with a plastic drinking straw tonight. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Lucy is the only dog I’ve ever had who sat on st Lucy is the only dog I’ve ever had who sat on steps in this interesting way. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
Alex has conquered me Sunday night and is claiming Alex has conquered me Sunday night and is claiming his territory. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Something in the sky outside has Alex’s attentio Something in the sky outside has Alex’s attention Sunday afternoon. He’s on top of the castle, but he has a clear view of the front yard through an office window. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
It’s just a few minutes after midnight, but it s It’s just a few minutes after midnight, but it seems as though Alex’s battery is already starting to run down for the night. He’s had a very active day. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturday
Alex isn’t nearly as interested in this afternoo Alex isn’t nearly as interested in this afternoon’s football games as I am. He prefers basketball. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturday
I’ve been home for about an hour, but Alex is st I’ve been home for about an hour, but Alex is staying very close to me. He seems to want to play and purr tonight more than he wants to sleep. I think he needs a buddy — since I can’t stay home with him all the time. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturdayeve
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On a live awards show Sunday night, one man made a joke about a female celebrity. The husband of the celebrity was offended and hit the man who made the joke. Or maybe it was staged for entertainment. Who knows? Who cares? Social media is full of discussion — and even arguments — about this idiocy today. This baffles me. Let’s assume for a moment that the event happened as reported. People have been having such idiotic fights ever since there have been humans. Half the bars in the world see such brief dustups regularly. It simply doesn’t matter. The fact that so many people believe they need to talk about this — or even need to have opinions about it — is more evidence of the bizarre media brainwashing that convinces many to care passionately about brain-dead trivia. Your life will be happier and saner if you focus on yourself, your family and your friends, not on whatever scripted (or spontaneous) bilge that the media wants to pipe into your home.

I’m in the middle of migrating this website to new servers this week. This means you might encounter some unexpected behavior until I get all the bugs worked out. Clicking on my links (including this one) might cause your browser to give you the message that it’s a site without a current security certificate. It’s not actually unsafe, but there’s something which isn’t yet set up for the security certificate. I apologize for any such errors you might encounter while the process is going on. If you notice any problems with content which didn’t migrate properly, I would appreciate you letting me know the details at davidmcelroy@mac.com. Thanks for your patience.

I often wonder what animals think when they look at us and consider the society we’ve created. Yes, I know this is fanciful and unrealistic, but what if they could? Would they be astounded at how we treat each other? Would they be disgusted by the ugliness and pettiness which fill so many of our daily interactions? The truth is that I’m feeling pretty disgusted with humanity tonight. I made the mistake of reading some online interactions that I should have avoided — and it sickened me. The people involved appeared to be vile and stupid and arrogant. I wish I could pretend they’re a tiny minority, but I know better. It’s times such as this when I most need to escape much of “civilization” and disconnect from their world. If humans are going to be worthy of “ruling this planet,” we have a lot of growth to do. And I fear that growth is nowhere in sight. So my buddy Thomas, above, and all of his friends would be right to judge us harshly — and to think, “Why do you folks get to be in charge?”

I should have expected this, but I honestly didn’t. The article I wrote last week about disagreements over treatment for autistic children brought me angry emails. You could almost call it “hate mail.” Of the five emails about it so far, two have been to tell me that I’m wrong to even listen to critics of the most popular therapy for autistic children — and the other three tell me I’m wrong for not condemning the treatment as the “obvious” abuse it is. If you read the article, you know I didn’t take a position on the issue, because I simply don’t know enough to have an opinion. But by talking about the issue, I stepped into a heated controversy. The emails from the two sides convinced me of nothing. But they did give me even more empathy for the unfortunate parents who have to figure out for themselves where the truth lies for their children.

Have you ever had what you thought was a new idea — and then discovered that “old you” had the same idea years ago? I had that experience tonight. And it’s been wonderful. I came up with an idea tonight for a very short satirical film that would be a promotion for a fictitious college. The point is to make the college promote — as good things — everything which is actually terrible about most modern colleges. Then I remembered a fake college that I invented back when I was in college. I had created student recruitment brochures and various newsletters back then, so I decided to call my “new” college by the same name I’d invented years ago: Ochita College. As I searched my computer for any old material I might still have about Ochita from the past, I discovered an email I sent to someone in 2009 — outlining essentially the same idea which I came up with tonight. Since I didn’t remember writing that, it felt like magic. So my next film project just might be this one instead. If all goes well, you might soon see “Ochita College: Your Future Starts Here.” This should be fun.

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