I have trouble giving up on people.
It’s not just people, though. It’s more accurate to say I have trouble giving up on whatever fantasy of the future that I’ve created in my mind. Sometimes that involves people. Sometimes it’s an achievement I’ve set my heart on. It can be any fantasy of what I think my life is going to look like.
I fall in love with my fantasies, I suppose. My life will be perfect when I make this thing happen. Everything will be perfect when this woman loves me and we live happily ever after.
And when I figure out that I’ve been chasing the wrong thing, I have trouble letting go of it. I have trouble saying that this thing is never going to happen. It’s hard for me to admit that maybe the thing I’ve been chasing was never good for me anyway.
When I stubbornly cling to dreams that are already dead, I sometimes allow myself to miss better opportunities. I sometimes mope so much about what I can’t have — even something I’ve decided isn’t good for me — that I miss better choices.
It’s been very difficult for me to stop watering dead flowers.

Getting better at all I do is only way to fight ‘imposter syndrome’
I have a history of ignoring signs that warn me it’s time for change
We’re more like other animals than we like to admit to anyone
It’s time to change my story and reinvent myself — one more time
One of life’s greatest gifts is for someone to give us full attention
‘Run away with me?’ I couldn’t accept her offer, but I wanted to
Who were you before someone told you who you were supposed to be?
Attaining excellence may require some time in painful mediocrity