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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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THE McELROY ZOO: Meet Molly, the cat who was ‘returned to sender’

By David McElroy · July 17, 2011

Molly and her sister showed up outside my house — along with their mother — several years ago. I don’t know where they were from, but they were all skittish enough that I assume the mother was a stray. One day, the mother cat disappeared, leaving just two bewildered kittens mewing on my porch.

 The picture on the top of the three to the right is the only one I have of the kittens with their mother, because I couldn’t get close enough to get anything better than this. When she disappeared, I didn’t know what to do, because the kittens wouldn’t even let me get close to them. Unfortunately, it was the time of year that it was starting to get cold outside. (You’ll notice a Halloween pumpkin at the bottom of the picture with their mother.)

I started feeding the kittens quickly, but I really started to get concerned when the mother didn’t return for several days. On the night when it was going to be the first freeze of the season around here, I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to try to catch them.

I’d like to say it was easy, but it was very difficult. I was able to lure them with food. I grabbed one of them while she was eating, but the other took off. (They look so much alike that I don’t know now which I caught first.) After a lot of luring and stealth, I caught the second one, but I ended up bloodied by pretty little teeth and claws.

The two kittens were pretty much identical except for the width of the white strip on their noses. Molly has a wide white vertical strip. Her sister, Bessie, has a narrow vertical strip. They were both small, but their mother was tiny, too. Even as adults, Molly and Bessie weigh only 5 pounds each.

I expected to find homes for them quickly and be out of the business of fostering kittens. After all, I already had enough of my own. I certainly wasn’t going to take it two more.

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Why should kids OR adults need state permission to sell lemonade?

By David McElroy · July 16, 2011

It’s a story that always produces outrage. Police see a couple of kids with a lemonade stand and shut them down because they don’t have a business license. The news stories make it clear that the police are jerks and that the poor kids are being victimized. Readers and viewers are outraged. Then we wait until the next time it happens and do the same story all over again.

The latest example of the predictable story is in Georgia. A couple of girls opened a lemonade stand to raise money to finance a trip to a theme park. Police shut them down because they didn’t have business licenses that would have cost $180 for the year. People are outraged. Again.

I have sympathy for the kids. I really do. But what I’d like to know is why stories such as this don’t remind us of the flip side. Obviously, it’s unreasonable to think that kids should have to have a city’s permission to sell lemonade, but isn’t it just as obvious that nobody should need government permission to conduct business? The only people whose permission you should need are your customers — and they vote with their purchases.

I’m glad that stories such as this one get attention, but I wish people would draw a different lesson. It’s not that kids need to be exempt from draconian, stupid laws. It’s that the draconian, stupid laws need to go away.

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Reality check: A stupid racial prank isn’t ‘the worst thing anybody can do’

By David McElroy · July 16, 2011

In Wildwood, N.J., somebody apparently thought it would be funny to post a sign in front of a small apartment building reading, “Parking for whites only.” Is it a stupid prank or is it “the worst thing anybody can do to anybody”?

We can all agree that racism is a bad thing. Right? But the U.S. culture has become so hypersensitive about the issue that it seems most “right-thinking people” go into overreaction mode when it comes up, because everyone seems to be competing to see who can be the most non-racist.

The latest example of this hyper-overreaction comes from a Philadelphia television station and the mayor of Wildwood, N.J. Here’s what happened:

A black couple have owned a small apartment complex near the beach in Wildwood for 11 years. They’ve apparently had minor problems with neighbors who don’t care for the apartments, although it’s not clear why. (Homeowners never like renters and apartment complexes, so I assume it’s just the standard reasons.) This past Wednesday, someone placed a sign on a pole in front of the apartments saying, “Parking for whites only.” Instead of taking the paper sign down and going about her business while muttering about the insensitivity and stupidity of some folks — which would have been reasonable — the owner took the sign to city police, who are investigating the “crime.” Mayor Ernie Troiano apologized on behalf of the city and told the TV station:

“This is the worst thing anybody can do to anybody. We never had problems with this neighborhood. For someone to do that, that’s a sick person.”

Really? This is truly the worst thing anybody can do, Mr. Mayor? Do you understand that this is just four ignorant words on a paper sign? How does it compare to killing someone? How about stealing people’s money? Is it worse than rape? Would you rather worry about someone posting that sign or about military aircraft dropping bombs on your home when you’ve done nothing to provoke it? Is the sign worse than police wrongly raiding a home, terrorizing people and killing your animals, then just saying, “Oooops,” afterwards?

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This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
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Critter Instagram

This is my current view as I look down toward my l This is my current view as I look down toward my lap. I was sitting in a chair in my bedroom when Oliver climbed into my lap. But because I was using my MacBook at the same time, the lap wasn’t good enough. He wiggled underneath the laptop until he had taken over my entire torso and forced me to put the computer down. He’s really good at getting the attention he wants.
From the CritterCam: I won’t be home for another c From the CritterCam: I won’t be home for another couple of hours, but it appears that Alex is already trying to get himself awake to be prepared for dinner.
Once again, Oliver has decided he owns my chair. I Once again, Oliver has decided he owns my chair. I’m not allowed to use my desk until he’s finished napping.
I seem to be boring Alex late Sunday afternoon. 😺 I seem to be boring Alex late Sunday afternoon. 😺
I have shorts on, so I’m glad Oliver “made his bis I have shorts on, so I’m glad Oliver “made his biscuits” on my tummy instead of on my leg when he jumped into my lap just now. 😺
From the CritterCam: Just after 9 a.m. Sunday, Ale From the CritterCam: Just after 9 a.m. Sunday, Alex seems to be considering whether to return to his bed.
When I pulled into the driveway late Saturday nigh When I pulled into the driveway late Saturday night, Sam was watching me from an office window — and when I got inside and walked into the office, he had turned around to watch me again. He’s an effective little neighborhood spy.
I just went to my desk to do a little bit of work I just went to my desk to do a little bit of work before I leave the house for a few hours and found that the space was already occupied. It looks as though I’ll have to do my work elsewhere, because Oliver has first claim on my chair. 😺
When I got back home at 1 a.m., Oliver resumed his When I got back home at 1 a.m., Oliver resumed his purring as he climbed upon my rather ample tummy. 😺
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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