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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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FRIDAY FUNNIES

By David McElroy · June 8, 2012

We live in a crazy and scary world when you have to be worried about a salt with a deadly weapon almost everywhere you go.

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Correcting an old error: there’s no such thing as ‘We the People’

By David McElroy · June 8, 2012

With apologies to the men who drafted and adopted the U.S. Constitution, I have to point out something that’s not especially popular: There’s no such person or entity as “We the People.”

I frequently see political groups — from every orientation — claim to be “We the People.” Democrats used it to attack the Bush administration. Republicans use it now to attack the Obama administration. (The Tea Party groups seem to especially love the phrase.) Libertarians and various fringe groups do it at times, too.

In all cases, these groups are trying to claim that their views are the legitimate will of “the people.” The problem is that “the people” don’t speak with one voice. For instance, activists demanding gay marriage in the name of “We the People” have a very different thing to say than a religious group demanding recognition of the traditional definition of marriage, even though they also claim to speak for “We the People.”

There isn’t one big collective voice of “the people” speaking. There wasn’t one when the Constitution was adopted. There’s no such thing as a collective will — and there’s no moral way to impose One True Way on everybody in the name of “We the People.”

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Can you look at this picture and not think we live in police state?

By David McElroy · June 7, 2012

It was a pretty typical Saturday afternoon in Aurora, Colo. People were bustling around town going about their business. For about 40 unlucky people, though, the next two hours were going to be anything but typical.

Someone robbed a Wells Fargo bank in Aurora. Police say they received word that the suspect was almost certainly in a car at a particular intersection. They didn’t have a description of the suspect. They didn’t know if it was a man or woman or what race the suspect was. They knew nothing, but they said afterwards that it was a “virtual certainty” that the suspect was somewhere at that intersection.

What the Aurora police did next makes it clear that they’ve never heard of the Fourth Amendment and have no respect for innocent people.

Police quickly blocked the intersection from all sides. I’ve heard differing reports on the number of cars in the intersection, but it was in the neighborhood of 20 to 25 vehicles. Even though police had no reasonable suspicion of any particular person or vehicle, they handcuffed every single adult in every single one of those cars. It was about 40 people. You can see from the picture above that they went in with guns ready to blow the heads off of these innocent people. Doesn’t that kid look like a bank robber?

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Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
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Sam was lying in an office window at sunset and ha Sam was lying in an office window at sunset and had already become a silhouette, but then Oliver jumped into the window with him, so we have competing silhouettes framed against the fading color of the sunset sky.
Oliver jumped into my arms as soon as I came home Oliver jumped into my arms as soon as I came home and sat down. My arm is on the blue armrest of the chair and he has himself draped over me. He’s purring his heart out, of course.
Early Thursday afternoon, Alex is sitting on an of Early Thursday afternoon, Alex is sitting on an office window ledge stalking Oliver as he innocently meandered into the office. Just a moment after this, Alex pounced and the chase was on.
It was impossible for me to get a decent picture w It was impossible for me to get a decent picture with Sam for a long time, but then he finally started letting pick him up for brief photos. It’s a new thing for him to casually hang out in this way so I can get a video with him. It’s a wonderful thing to slowly earn the trust of a formerly feral cat.
Alex was waiting on his castle when I got home fro Alex was waiting on his castle when I got home from work, keeping watch like this when I came into the office. Either he missed me — possible, I suppose — or he has developed an incredibly accurate internal dinner clock.
A furry antidepressant is often the very best kind A furry antidepressant is often the very best kind.
Alex woke up from a nap, spent a few minutes chasi Alex woke up from a nap, spent a few minutes chasing a toy mouse, and then exhausted himself to the point that another nap became necessary. It’s important to pace yourself.
Sam settled into a front office window Tuesday eve Sam settled into a front office window Tuesday evening to keep an eye on things. Nobody knows exactly what things he’s keeping an eye on, but he’s taking the responsibility very seriously.
Alex slowly opened one eye and then the other. He Alex slowly opened one eye and then the other. He evaluated the situation in the office late Tuesday afternoon and concluded that being awake remains overrated.
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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