I found myself involved in a couple of online debates Monday that I wasn’t happy about. In both cases, someone who disagrees with me attacked me personally about that disagreement. In both cases, I felt attacked personally and responded more harshly than I meant to. I avoid those kinds of arguments these days, so they both upset me — partly at the other people, but partly at myself.
Both of the debates were about military action around the world. The specifics don’t matter, but in both cases, the other person was attacking the idea that the United States has behaved inappropriately with some military actions around the world in the last decade or so. (In one of the cases, the woman called those of us who opposed her position “dissenters,” as though that was a vile thing to be.) The truth is that arguments such as these don’t end up being about the subjects themselves. The arguments end up very personal. They end up between two people (or more) who have very different views of the world — and it’s about each trying to convince the other than his model of reality is the correct one.
How in the world can we deal with humans living together when we see the world in so many different ways? And does it have to be this way?

Fear and shame can leave us in a fog that destroys relationships
Industrial age relic: Do companies pay for your time or your brain?
If our assumptions don’t match, we can clash with best intentions
Will I run for office? The short answer is ‘no’; the longer answer is ‘no way’
Is it persistence or stubbornness to keep chasing uncertain outcomes?
We all live with a death sentence, but we act as if we’ll live forever
I was agonizingly slow to ‘get it,’ but the joy of music changed me
I want to help out of pure love, but human motives are messy