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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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It can take a lifetime of work to overcome abusive ‘programming’

By David McElroy · September 5, 2023

I’ve spent my adult life on a long journey of recovery. It started while I was still in my late 20s when I vaguely realized something was wrong. That led to the realization that I had come from a very dysfunctional family. But I still had so many layers of dysfunction to take apart — and I had so much to learn in order to become an emotionally healthy adult.

Even now, I keep finding more habits to unlearn.

I wish I could have grown up with healthy mental habits and healthy inner beliefs about myself. I wish I could have been emotionally healthier when I was trying to build a company. I wish I could have seen the truth about myself and about the world in time to give myself more time to build on what I’ve learned.

I didn’t know those things as a child. I didn’t know them when I was 30. I didn’t even know them 10 years ago. But I know now.

This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or can can watch this video below.

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Trump’s rabid defenders selling their souls for a narcissistic liar

By David McElroy · August 25, 2023

Political loyalty appears to rot brain cells.

I’ve observed this phenomenon for years, from people of every political point of view. Once a person has decided on a position about an issue, facts no longer matter, at least for most people. They make emotional commitments to a position — for all sorts of reasons — and they keep doubling down on why they were right.

Many of Donald Trump’s opponents did this as soon as he was elected. Even before he took office, there were some people calling for him to be impeached. Before he had done anything. In the early parts of his administration, there was a massive effort to come up with some charge that was plausible enough to make it stick. The first set of impeachment charges were mostly nonsense, so Trump was not convicted and wasn’t removed from office. That was a reasonable outcome.

But the idiocy and dishonesty of the crowd against Trump had an odd effect. Otherwise-reasonable people were so incensed by the idiotic and dishonest drive to remove Trump from office that they turned into equally irrational defenders of this narcissistic liar.

It’s reasonable to believe that Donald Trump is an immoral thug who operates like a gangster — and who violates whatever laws or rules get in his way. It’s also reasonable to believe that many of his opponents are just as evil at heart — and to believe these people would do anything, fair or unfair, to destroy a man they hate.

Both things are true. An honest and reasonable person doesn’t have to choose sides. It’s reasonable to detest the leftists whose actions are taking our country closer and closer to the edge of the cliff of destruction. But it’s not reasonable to support Trump because you hate his enemies.

Donald Trump is a criminal. He’s a selfish and evil narcissist. And he deserves to be shunned by decent and principled people — even if you also hate Joe Biden and his friends.

It’s idiotic to choose sides in a war for control of a cesspool.

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Father who I saw as Mr. Morality turned out to be a liar and a thief

By David McElroy · August 24, 2023

When I was in my late 20s, I started a newspaper company and my father agreed to be my financial backer. But after we had been operating for about a year, he suddenly told me there would be no more money.

It turns out that all the money he had been giving me was stolen. He wasn’t ready to admit this at the time, though. He didn’t seem to care that it would destroy my company. He just suddenly told me there was no more money. That was my first hint that there was a big scandal brewing back in the town where I went to high school.

Even after it started, he lied to my sisters and me and claimed nothing was going on. The man I had grown up seeing as Mr. Morality turned out to be a liar, a thief — and ultimately a narcissist who humiliated all of us.

This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or can can watch this video below.

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  • After years of silence, it’s time to tell the truth about my father
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  • Keep trying: The squirrels are pedaling as hard as they can

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This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hour I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hours ago of the fading sunset while I was in the Publix parking lot on the way home. If you suddenly find yourself craving Arby’s or Wendy’s, blame the giant icons in the sky, not me. 😃 (BTW, this was with the iPhone’s 8X telephoto lens.) #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night and was watching traffic through the distortion of the gently falling rain on my car window when I realized that the abstract view I had matched the way I was feeling tonight, so I turned it into a brief abstract video to match my mood.
Get ready for the next great animated Christmas cl Get ready for the next great animated Christmas classic, featuring singing and dancing and danger from Alex, Oliver and Sam. Coming soon to a theater near you. (The funniest part is that if I cared about this as anything more than a Christmas joke, it strikes me as something that could be profitable with the right story development and the right animators.)
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From the CritterCam: I just checked the camera to From the CritterCam: I just checked the camera to find Alex leaning into Oliver so he could get some grooming from his gray brother before settling in to nap with him.
When I got home a few minutes ago, Alex was sleepi When I got home a few minutes ago, Alex was sleeping on the top level of the castle. You can tell how dark the room was from how huge his pupils are here.
It’s only 6:30 a.m., but Oliver is already hard at It’s only 6:30 a.m., but Oliver is already hard at work on his Neighborhood Watch duties. The morning shift can be grueling, especially since the school bus is due to come down the street in just a few minutes.
Alex can’t wait any longer. Right at 2 a.m., he’s Alex can’t wait any longer. Right at 2 a.m., he’s going to sleep instead of waiting for me to finish my work.
It’s after 4 a.m. and Sam is still hanging out wit It’s after 4 a.m. and Sam is still hanging out with me in the bedroom. Alex and Oliver are already asleep in the office. It’s unusual for this little former feral to be the one continuing to keep me company when the others have already left the room.
I’ve been on the phone for the last couple of hour I’ve been on the phone for the last couple of hours and the house was completely quiet when I ended the call. I discovered all three of the cats sound asleep in the office. Alex woke up enough to see if I was bringing anything for him, but neither Oliver nor Sam even stirred.
For a long time, Sam found it impossible to relax For a long time, Sam found it impossible to relax like this in my arms. Even now, he would rather lie on the bed than on me, but it’s satisfying to see him learn to trust me enough to stretch out and relax. I’ve had a few feral cats in the past who never got even this far on the road to complete trust.
When I got back home just after 1 a.m., I found th When I got back home just after 1 a.m., I found that Alex hadn’t waited up for me. He roused himself just enough to give this enormous yawn and then he was back to sleep. It’s a good thing I know he isn’t going to use those teeth on me. He could be dangerous.
I just caught Sam spying on me from across the roo I just caught Sam spying on me from across the room as he peeks over the edge of the bed.
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We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

I have no use for the theocratic and repressive government of Iran. The people who run the country are cruel at best and evil at worst. The Iranian people deserve freedom. But I have no personal quarrel with anybody in Iran. While I’m not thrilled about a future Iranian government having nuclear weapons, I’m just as concerned about nukes in the hands of politicians in Israel, Pakistan, India, China and Russia. I’m not even thrilled with the U.S., Britain and France having them, either, because I don’t trust any politicians to be responsible with such terrible weapons. All I can say with certainty is that American taxpayers have no business attacking Iran, especially since we’re being forced to pay for this attack in order to benefit the politicians of Israel — and nobody else. If Middle Eastern countries want to fight among themselves, that’s none of my business. It’s not the business of the U.S. government, either. I have no quarrel with anybody in Iran — and having the government which claims to represent me launch an unprovoked attack against a sovereign country will only make all Americans less safe in the near future. This attack is poorly conceived and morally unjustified. Remember that when the Iranians launch attacks that we will then condemn as “terrorism.” What the U.S. is doing right now looks like terrorism to me. And let’s not forget that the attack is the latest in a long line of unconstitutional wars by various U.S. presidents — who have no legal power to declare war on their own, according to the U.S. Constitution.

A child having a tantrum understands only one thing: Did I get my way or not? He doesn’t understand the issues involved. He doesn’t understand the reasons that went into a decision. He doesn’t understand any of the things that mature and reasonable adults have to understand in order to live healthy lives. By his reaction to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling to strike down his disastrous tariff scheme, Donald Trump shows himself to be — once more — a screaming child having a tantrum. Outside the world of mob bosses who expect to get their way every time, normal adults don’t act this way, but Trump isn’t normal. He’s an angry and vengeful man who has narcissistic personality disorder. And we are in danger as a result. Trump doesn’t understand the legal issues involved in this ruling. He doesn’t understand economics. He doesn’t understand rule of law. He doesn’t understand that he can ever be wrong. All he understands is that he didn’t get his way. And he is now a narcissistic and raging little boy who also happens to hold life-and-death power over most humans on this planet. He’s dangerous — and the system which gives him that power is even more dangerous.

Is it an attempt to blur the gender line between men and women? Or is it some weird tribute to the traditional Scottish kilt? It’s hard to say, but fashion designers keep pushing for men to wear skirts in the last few years. Both men and women in modern fashion seem oddly androgynous, as though it would be offensive for a man to look manly or for a woman to look feminine. A CNN article about the latest fashions from Paris caught my attention Monday and left me wondering about the ugly clothes the designers are hawking. If a man wants to wear a skirt — or a kilt — that’s OK with me, but I’ll stick with a traditional dark suit with a white shirt and tie. (Well, when I’m not wearing t-shirts and sweats, of course.) I always wonder who actually buys the outlandish garb from fashion designers anyway. I would be humiliated to be seen in any of this stuff, but I obviously have no sense of high fashion.

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