I have a deep need for people to praise me. And I desperately need folks to adore my work — even though this praise and adoration make me feel embarrassed at the same time.
Why?
Because no matter who I become and no matter what excellent work I might do, I am terrified that people will suddenly realize I’m a fraud.
I’ve suffered this secret fear since I was a child. For many years, I thought I was the only one who felt this way. When I was a kid, people praised me for being “so intelligent.” They used superlatives such as “genius” and “once-in-a-lifetime talent,” but I knew better.
On the inside, I was just me. I didn’t feel smart. I didn’t feel talented. I just felt like someone struggling to make it through a confusing childhood. I assumed I was “normal” and I was simply surrounded by idiots. I was certain someone would come along any day and expose the obvious fact that I’d been wrongly praised for years.
I expected that day to come — and I knew it would crush me when it did.
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Society needs storytellers to help make sense of a changing world
My bad teen poetry suggests I’ve always hungered for missing love
I’m not certain artists ever get to be themselves when they perform
Chappelle is offensive and crude, but what he’s doing is important
Tough question: How can we stop humans from killing each other?
Every addiction is heart’s effort to fill inner hole that requires love
Throwaway culture can leave us looking for something that lasts
If you want life outside of hatred, get away from political cesspool