I’m a master of denial. For one reason or another, I’ve become accustomed to disappointments over the last decade or so. Maybe longer. Denial has become my way of dealing with things I didn’t think I could control.
I was reminded of that again Friday evening when I unintentionally recorded some video of myself from the side. My MacBook was recording and Lucy wanted to jump into my lap for attention. I turned to let her jump up while she happily licked my face. I thought the video of her might be cute. But then I looked at it.
I know I need to shed some weight right now, but I walk around in denial about it most of the time. I’m about 25 pounds less than the worst I’d let myself get — maybe 35 pounds now that I think about it — but I still need to get rid of about 80 pounds of excess fat.
When I looked at that video of Lucy and me, every one of those 80 pounds seemed to be visible — and every one of them seemed to be taunting me.

Watching kids on a Friday night reminds me of struggle to belong
I keep forgetting that I can’t save those who don’t want to be saved
Both sides of gun debate see what they want to see in D.C. shooting
What if narcissistic vampire bit me but he never finished the job?
Anatomy of a dishonest political mailer from this week’s election
For me, Valentine’s Day seems to bring out my regrets every year
Why do American Christians impose political beliefs on God?
Loss of respect for truth leads to remorseless liar’s excuses
Why are so many of us afraid of the love and happiness we want?