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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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As I faced my father’s narcissism, I had to confront who I’d become

By David McElroy · August 12, 2023

As I started coming to terms with the damage that my father’s narcissism had done to me, I also had to ask myself disturbing questions.

Had I become something like him? Had growing up with him taught me to be a narcissist? Was I going to become the abuser he had become?

Many people who are raised by narcissists turn into narcissistic abusers, too. I had to re-evaluate myself — my inner shame and some of my outer behaviors — in light of what I learned about him. These were not pleasant questions to ask myself.

This is the first installment of the thoughts I’m having as I finally write my book about having been raised by a narcissist. The YouTube site is here. (Please subscribe if you’d like to keep up with this project.) Or you can watch the embedded video below.

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I’m writing a book — and I’ll be talking about it as it progresses

By David McElroy · August 4, 2023

For many years, I’ve intended to write a book about what it’s like to be raised by a narcissistic parent — and about my struggles to understand what happened to me. I’m finally writing that book, which is called, “The Truth About My Father.”

As a side project, I’ve set up a new YouTube channel on which I’m going to be posting videos about some of the thoughts that come up for me as I write the book. I realize this isn’t for most people, but if you have some personal experience with narcissism in someone around you, it might interest you.

I don’t know how often I’ll publish new videos, but if you’d like to know more as they come out, just subscribe to the channel and click on the choice to be notified when new videos are published.

For now, you can see the five-minute introduction to the channel below:

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We often act like madmen who’re eagerly bent on self-destruction

By David McElroy · July 29, 2023

I wasn’t prepared for what Catherine was about to tell me.

“I’m going to try to get pregnant next week,” she blurted out without any context.

Catherine just turned 19 years old. She still lives at home with a controlling mother. Her father killed himself when she was young. She doesn’t yet know how to drive and has to beg for rides to and from a menial job. She’s never had any romantic relationships, but she’s recently started slipping away from home to meet men for sex.

Just last week, she told me about how one such man — who she met online — picked her up and took her to a camper about an hour away from her. (She told her mother she was at a friend’s house.) They had sex for a couple of days, then he abruptly brought her back home — and then he disappeared from her life.

Now, she’s met another man online and she plans to meet him Sunday night. She’s never seen him in real life, but she’s planning to make sure he gets her pregnant. And she looked shocked when I told her that this plan was stupid and selfish.

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For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
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Critter Instagram

There’s a widely observed bear wandering around in There’s a widely observed bear wandering around in Shelby County, south of Birmingham. Oliver heard about him and sneaked out of the house to go make a new friend. One of the latest pictures of the bear happened to catch this action shot of Oliver riding him around. He’s back at home now, so I’m not sure how he got out. 😺
From the CritterCam: You might have seen a picture From the CritterCam: You might have seen a picture I posted about 45 minutes ago showing Oliver asleep in this bed and Alex asleep in the hanging basket beyond him. I just checked the webcam and found Alex coming over to the bed to try to claim it as his own. Oliver lifted his head — as you see here — and Alex moved on. No fireworks over the spot tonight. 😺
It’s not even sunset yet, but all three cats are a It’s not even sunset yet, but all three cats are asleep for the moment. Oliver is in the cat bed on my desk and you can see Alex’s head and ears sticking out of the hanging basket of the castle behind him. If you could see through Oliver’s head, you would find Sam in the window on the other side of the office, where he’s been napping, too.
When I came home late Thursday afternoon, Alex was When I came home late Thursday afternoon, Alex wasn’t sure whether it was worth waking up to greet me or not. He’s definitely leaning toward “not” at this point — since it’s not close to dinner time.
Sam is hanging out with me in the office late Wedn Sam is hanging out with me in the office late Wednesday night. He’s a handsome fellow who’s more confident every day.
If you could speak “cat,” you would hear Alex maki If you could speak “cat,” you would hear Alex making it very clear that it’s time for his dinner and he’s not happy to wait any further.
A neighbor told me last week that we apparently ha A neighbor told me last week that we apparently have a new “tuxedo cat” in the neighborhood and I just spotted him. I took this one from inside the house with the 8X lens on my iPhone, so it’s not as sharp as I’d like it to be. By the time I got outside, the cat moved away from me at first, but eventually allowed me to pet him, very briefly, before running away.
You know how Hollywood loves to do sequels and mas You know how Hollywood loves to do sequels and mashups. If you saw my poster this morning for “Attack of the 50ft. Kitten” — as a sequel to the old classic — you will not be surprised to know that this further sequel is already in the works. 😺
This has been delayed in production ever since Oli This has been delayed in production ever since Oliver was a kitten in 2023, but I can finally announce that this future sci-fi classic is soon coming to a theater near you. (For anyone who doesn’t get the reference, it’s based on the classic “Attack of the 50-ft. Woman., which I’ll include as reference.)
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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