I have trouble giving up on people.
It’s not just people, though. It’s more accurate to say I have trouble giving up on whatever fantasy of the future that I’ve created in my mind. Sometimes that involves people. Sometimes it’s an achievement I’ve set my heart on. It can be any fantasy of what I think my life is going to look like.
I fall in love with my fantasies, I suppose. My life will be perfect when I make this thing happen. Everything will be perfect when this woman loves me and we live happily ever after.
And when I figure out that I’ve been chasing the wrong thing, I have trouble letting go of it. I have trouble saying that this thing is never going to happen. It’s hard for me to admit that maybe the thing I’ve been chasing was never good for me anyway.
When I stubbornly cling to dreams that are already dead, I sometimes allow myself to miss better opportunities. I sometimes mope so much about what I can’t have — even something I’ve decided isn’t good for me — that I miss better choices.
It’s been very difficult for me to stop watering dead flowers.

Laughing at the ‘rapture cult’? Those who believe in the state are no different
Choose the person you don’t want to spend your life without
Slow death of painful past leaves me trapped in fog of depression
Buggy WordPress plugin knocked site off the air for about 36 hours
What if other people see you or hear you differently than you do?
There’s little unity to be found in our supposedly United States
I’m waiting for life to begin, but I’m feeling lost and alone tonight
Public discourse is distorted by constant outrage over anecdotes