When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

An emotional vampire craves you, but he doesn’t know how to love
Ignore the happy face it presents: Coercive state points a gun at you
How can I make sense of a world that’s fundamentally nonsensical?
Will rising anger about personal economic pain lead to trouble soon?
It took me years to feel the anger I’d repressed since childhood
What did you want in childhood? Did you abandon those dreams?
Without courage to take action, day will come when it’s too late
We’re neither friends nor enemies, just strangers who share the past
Maybe it’s so hard to love others because we don’t love ourselves