When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

How much can human heart take when inner winter lasts forever?
I wasn’t ready for another dog, but Lucy needed a ‘forever home’
Few things scare most humans like the prospect of living, dying alone
Do we rescue abandoned animals? Maybe they’re rescuing us instead
NYC cop’s profanity-laden threats secretly caught on videotape
What should we do if social media make us lonely, cause depression?
Film’s tortured protagonist feels uncomfortably familiar to me
For all my life, I’ve hidden anger in order to be ‘perfect’ to others
What’s at the root of objections to real freedom? Paternalism