When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

When we sell Jesus like soap, maybe we’re spiritually bankrupt
It hurts to lose everything we own, but those we love can’t be replaced
Sharing mundane details of life is underrated joy of loving someone
Try a new game: Make others smile — and let yourself smile with them
Our reactions to others’ suicides say something about how we view life
Liberal NPR, PBS? Why should tax money pay to influence culture?
New information demands that I change some of what I think I am
Trip to Memory Lane reminds me some relationships deserve to die
No loneliness is worse than being with people, but not a specific one