When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

Why do we put off changes that might give meaning to our lives?
Since I’ve lost status I once had, it’s a shock to see I want it back
AUDIO: Drama of ‘family of origin’ seems to follow us for a lifetime
X-ray scanners used by TSA banned in Europe over health concerns
State-based ‘aid culture’ makes people believe they’re entitled to other people’s money
I’m a liar — and you are, too; most of all, we lie to ourselves
How did my memory get it wrong? Why did I edit the truth about her?
Beauty queen’s suicide leaves me pondering lesson of Richard Cory
What do you do when it feels as though your entire world is over?