When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

When does healthy love become nothing but unhealthy obsession?
Does the ocean offer the best chance of escaping the state?
Is Big Brother taking over your refrigerator and other appliances?
Accepting joy tomorrow does no good if tomorrow never comes
I’m paralyzed by fear my choices won’t match needs of future wife
Brush with high-speed blowout leaves me thinking about death
Does every loss of love finally become a case of ‘sour grapes’?
Cult’s targeting of family funeral points to folly of speaking for God
Nature made me like my mother, but my father tried to erase that