This story is about me. Only me. It’s about my ego and insecurities and fears and needs.
I typically write what I think might be useful for others to know and understand, but this is different. It’s more like a diary entry. A confessional. A cry of frustration.
It’s the sort of thing I would address to a wife or partner or trusted companion — if I had a woman in that role. It’s my half of a conversation which I would need to have with someone who loved me and believed in me and was permanently a part of my life.
So this probably isn’t for you.
I’m struggling right now. In many ways, things are the best in my life that they’ve been for at least 20 years. I have stability and purpose again. I know where I want to go. I’m more clear about my values and my priorities than I’ve ever been in my life.
But I’m struggling with the gap between how things ought to be and the reality I see in front of me. And that gap terrifies me — because nobody lives forever.

Idiots in Congress haven’t heard of ‘law of unintended consequences’
Without peaceful breakup plan, U.S. faces violent, angry collapse
Promises from childhood don’t always serve our needs today
Collectivists think they’re doing us favors as they force herd to follow
Is it abuse to force atypical kids to conform to norms of society?
What if we’re more talented than our inner fears allow us to admit?
Will you uncover your blind spots? Or will you ignore red flags again?