David McElroy

LOS ANGELES — In an effort to spice up a Republican presidential campaign that’s not attracting the ratings it once did, the GOP is teaming with former “American Idol” star Simon Cowell for a series of “Republican Idol” debates starting in two weeks.

“When some Republican Party poobah first called me in London to discuss the idea, I was really skeptical,” Cowell said Monday. “Then I watched some of the video of the previous debates and realized we could turn this into quite a show if we just produce it right. It already has a fantastic cast of nutty characters just waiting for someone to mine their comic potential. This is going to be a blast. I expect ratings will shoot through the roof.”

Republican national chairman Reince Priebus said his staff was similarly skeptical of the changes Cowell will be bringing to the show, but said his party’s need to appeal to mainstream voters made it worth working through the initial creative differences.

“I wasn’t initially comfortable with the opening act that will require all the candidates to perform together,” Priebus said. “But Simon tells me that audiences love that sort of goofy camaraderie. The candidates were mostly OK with at after we said their parts could be lip-synched, but all of the dancing will be legitimate and they’ll all be wearing the same flag-covered Spandex costumes. If we can get the act together in time, there’s even going to be a Christmas special with lots of singing and dancing.”

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When I was a  junior in college, I was Santa Claus for a few weeks. Seriously.

Back in those days, the biggest and most successful mall in Birmingham was called Century Plaza. If you happened to have your kid’s picture taken with Santa at Century Plaza that year, chances are one-in-four that it was me behind the red suit and fake white beard. (There were four of us who worked in shifts.)

Getting to be Santa Claus was a memorable experience for many reasons. I’ve always loved children and enjoyed working with them even then. Still, it was a harder job than I thought it would be. It’s hot inside the costume, and you’re constantly performing for hours at a time — and children are a very demanding audience. But there was one night on that job that I’ll always remember, and it had nothing to do with anything fun.

As Christmas got closer, more and more people waited in longer and longer lines to see Santa. One Saturday night very close to Christmas, I’d worked my regular four-hour shift and was scheduled to go feed my reindeer — translation: change places with the next guy — at about 6 p.m. The replacement didn’t show up, though, and I had to work the rest of the night.

Around 7:30 or so, I noticed a woman standing beyond the line all by herself. She looked alternately happy and despondent, almost like what you’d expect from someone who’s a manic depressive cycling through quick ups and downs. I didn’t think anything of it, but I was surprised to find about half an hour later that she had waited in line all by herself to see Santa Claus.

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No matter what evidence you show some people about where things are headed in this country, they’ll tell you that everything’s going to be OK and then change the subject. In other words, they’re in denial.

I’ve really been thinking about this a lot lately, because I seem to be seeing lots of examples of people with their heads in the sand to avoid painful realities. I used to be confused about why people did it. It seems insane to deny a painful reality that’s obvious to others, so why do people do it?

I’ve come to a simple conclusion. People stick their heads in the sand and ignore painful truths because they don’t know what to do about the issues. If they admitted to themselves just how bad things were, they would have to seek solutions. But since they don’t see any potential solutions, it’s easier to pretend that reality isn’t what it really is.

Whether it’s about political reality or financial reality or the reality of your personal life, it’s easy to slip into this way of living. It’s not about intelligence or honesty or anything else. I think it’s purely a question of whether someone sees any possibility of change. If change seems possible, it’s psychologically safe to accept reality and deal with it. If change doesn’t seem possible — for whatever reason — into the sand the head goes.

I started thinking about this seriously Thursday night when a friend was telling me about the people in his life — including his mother — who are in denial about political and economic reality in this country. As I thought it about it all day Friday, though, it occurred to me that I know plenty of people in denial about a range of things. I’m sure it even applies to me at times.

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