David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

David McElroy

Briefly: With 193,900 words published this year, should I write books instead?

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I discovered tonight that I’ve published 193,900 words here this year. For context, the typical popular business book is about 50,000 to 75,000 words. So I’ve written enough to have published several books instead. So the thought occurs to me that maybe I would do well to take a break from here and write a book instead. I don’t know what I think, but it’s an intriguing thought. Let me know if you have any thoughts about that. If I wrote a book right now, what do you think it ought to be about — based on the things you see me write about. Any thoughts?

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What if emotional baggage we carry isn’t really our core issue?

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I’m not the same person I was 15 years ago. I’m a better version of myself. I feel certain of that. But am I fooling myself?

When I was looking for an old email a few days ago, I ran across something I wrote 15 years ago. I’ve updated it a couple of times since then, but this was the first time I wrote it. It was a detailed discussion what I perceive to be my faults and flaws. I was trying to explain my negatives to a woman, because I wanted to make sure she understood what she might be getting into by dating me.

I know I’ve grown a lot since then, so I thought it should be satisfying to read this old list. It would show me how many of the items I’ve struck off because I’ve conquered them.

After I read it, I felt confused. There’s no question that I’ve experienced massive change and growth since then. But every issue I wrote about 15 years ago is still part of my life.

How could that be?

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Well, if you really want to know, this is what I’m still looking for

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Most of the email I get from readers here is asking for advice, so this was very different.

Amy was very direct. She told me she had started reading my articles a couple of years ago when her marriage was falling apart. She’s 28 now and divorced from a man she said was a terrible choice for her.

As she continued reading what I write — about love and life and my own needs — she started wondering if she and I might be interested in each other.

“I know this is very presumptuous,” she wrote, “but when I read about what you want in a wife and a family, I keep thinking we want the same things. But you’ve made it obvious you still hold love for someone from your past. I don’t know if you’re willing to find someone else yet, so I thought I’d ask.”

Amy had a number of interesting and insightful questions. With her permission, I’m sharing some of our correspondence with you.

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