Meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Meg. And she’s my little sweetheart. A couple of months ago, a neighbor across the street told me about a new stray in the neighborhood that she and I were both soon feeding. The cat had been very skittish about contact and she had a lot of scabs and parasites in her fur, but a trip to the vet last week revealed that she was otherwise in good health. The vet estimates her to be 1 to 2 years old. I named her for Meg Murry, the 13-year-old protagonist of Madeleine L’Engle’s wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time.” (Please read the book. Don’t watch the horrible movie.) Since we lost Lucy almost a year ago, it seems appropriate that we finally have a new little girl to join the household. She’s already captured my heart, but Alex, Oliver and Sam aren’t there quite yet.
I’ve learned to banish the hate, but I’m slow to learn real love
I had a realization Wednesday night that seems profound, but I can’t think of any way to say it that won’t make me sound like an idiot or a fool. Maybe both.
Becoming the man I need to be — especially in the spiritual sense — is about addition, not subtraction.
If I visualize my life as a complex object or machine or organism, I have always seen myself as defective. I haven’t been fully conscious of this. As I’ve tried sincerely to improve myself and become who God wanted me to be, I’ve seen it as a matter of removing defective parts.
Everything about what I learned as a child — both at home and at church — oriented me toward this unconscious model.
At home, I constantly heard everything that was wrong with me. Everything that I needed to stop doing. At church, I learned all the ways that sin made us unacceptable to God. The lessons I learned from these two centers of my development taught me that I could be acceptable to God and to my family by closely following a set of rules.
I internalized those rules that I needed to follow, both from my family and from my church. Those rules became part of my core operating assumptions about life. Compared to most people I knew, I was very good at obeying all of those rules to the letter.
But what I overlooked was something much more profound.
As I followed all of the rules I was taught — and became closer and closer to being what everyone else seemed to call “good,” I wasn’t adequately replacing the “defective parts.”
I was removing the things I could call sin or bad behavior, but I wasn’t replacing what I removed with a truly changed heart.
I didn’t truly know how to love. Not God. Not others. Not even myself.
Briefly: Evidence keeps piling up that drinking alcohol is a bad risk
There’s nothing socially acceptable that’s as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Most people grow up being told to “drink responsibly” — and all of us see people abusing this drug in one way or another — but the truth is that drinking alcohol is always a terrible risk. The alcohol in these drinks is toxic and the human liver has to work hard to filter the toxins out. What most people don’t realize is that alcohol is classified as a known carcinogen by the World Health Organization — because of the well-established connection between imbibing and various cancers. Many people have taken refuge behind the idea that light or moderate drinking might be safe, but a new study shows that drinking even one drink a day increases the risks of 10 types of cancer. When I was a teen-ager, I looked around and saw the negative effects that this behavior had on a lot of people and decided not to start drinking, so I’ve never even tried this poison. The evidence keeps piling up that I was lucky to have come to that conclusion early.

Briefly: Trump’s indifference isn’t hate; it’s even worse than that
Briefly: It made me happy to get update about little friends from five years ago
Briefly: Satirical photo frame for Facebook mocks virtue-signaling
Photo assignment in dimly lit gym kickstarted my love for basketball
Both sides of gun debate see what they want to see in D.C. shooting
Ethnic Indian wins Miss America? Who cares? Bigots seem upset
Briefly: Busybodies force Disney to drop Siamese cats from ‘Lady and the Tramp’
Briefly: Fashion designers pushing men to wear skirts — again
Briefly: World elite say they fear ‘social cohesion erosion’ to come