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When I named editor of my high school newspaper, I was too ignorant to be scared.

I knew very little about producing a newspaper. I had joined the staff of my high school newspaper — the Viking — only because the newspaper sponsor asked if I wanted to join. I spent a year on staff as a junior before finagling my way to taking charge as editor the next year.

The guy flanking me in this photo was my best friend, Larry. I named him as news editor, but it didn’t matter what his title was. He was simply my partner in making everything happen.

As my senior year approached, I realized that I was afraid of looking foolish. I realized how little I knew. I set up a meeting in the summer with the publisher of the newspaper which printed our paper. I got him to set up meetings for me with the typesetters and camera room departments which I would be working with. I threw myself into learning technical details so I could do things which weren’t normal for a high school newspaper.

As I face another big transition in my life right now, I realize that my fear of looking foolish in that role pushed me in a way that nothing else could have. And I realize that I was setting a precedent for how I would handle every major change of my life for decades to come.

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Producing a podcast is more difficult than I thought it would be. It’s also easier than I thought it would be. If that sounds confusing to you, imagine how I feel.

If I had known eight weeks ago what I‘ve learned in making these first six episodes of Love & Hope, I don’t think I would have started this journey. I’m not sure whether to be thankful for my ignorance or to wish I’d had the sense to stick to writing.

Love & Hope was an experiment for me. It was an opportunity to learn a bit about a new medium without jumping into something that I thought could possibly be popular. I chose a topic that wouldn’t interest most people, because I wanted a safe place to learn — without worrying about too many people listening and judging me.

So after making six episodes, what have I learned?

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I stretched out my arms, as though I was welcoming the raindrops which were pounding on my body like tiny notes of a powerful symphony.

If anybody was watching, he might have thought I was crazy, but I didn’t care. I felt an exhilarating connection with Nature in that moment. I welcomed the rain. I welcomed the energy in the storm. And in that brief moment of touching God, I felt love and warmth and goodness.

I had eaten at a restaurant inside a store Wednesday evening. When it was time for me to leave, a driving rainstorm had started outside. There was hardly anybody left in the store. Everyone else seemed to have headed home in anticipation of the storm. As I walked slowly into the rain, I felt as though I was alone on Nature’s stage.

My heart swelled with warmth and love. Suddenly, without any intention or forethought, I was joyfully speaking words of love to someone who was not there to hear my words.

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