In the middle of world’s madness, happiness makes me think of her

By David McElroy · September 20, 2020

I call my Lucy the World’s Happiest Dog. Maybe you can see why.

She’s never in a bad mood. She’s always thrilled to see me. She doesn’t care what we do — as long as she gets to spend time with me. She’s loving and gentle, but above all else, she’s happy. All the time.

I haven’t been happy for a long time. The world seems to have gone mad. My life is nothing like I want it to be. I feel as though I’ve lost control over my direction. Nothing is as I want it to be.

But tonight, I am happy. Do I need a reason to feel happy?

Maybe it’s the crisp autumn weather that’s just arrived in Birmingham this weekend. Maybe it’s the feeling of peace that comes from slowly working through deeper issues. I don’t know. All I know is that I’m happy tonight. I feel the way Lucy always acts.

And in my happiness, my thoughts turn to a woman. I’m happy enough that all I want is to share my happiness with her. Even though I can’t.

I don’t know why I feel this way tonight. Nothing has changed.

I’m still alone. I’m still way off track. I’m still seemingly lost and confused about where I’m going. I know all that. I’m not in denial.

But still, I’m sitting here alone — with the World’s Happiness Dog waiting to take a walk — and I just want to feel this happiness flow over me like waves of liquid joy. I want to pick up the phone and call someone I can’t call. I want to hear her voice. I want to see her, hold her hand, walk with her, watch a movie with her. It doesn’t matter.

I just want to share happiness with her.

I still don’t like what I know I have to do tomorrow and the next day and the next day. I’m not happy with my house and my environment. I’m unhappy with a lot of what I have allowed myself to become lately.

But in the middle of all this, I want to tell her I love her.

I still believe the world is falling apart. I still know that the economy is heading toward collapse that will devastate all of us. I know we’re closer to civil unrest in bigger ways than most people realize. Yes, I still get all this. I know it’s coming and I know I can’t stop it.

But despite all that, I’m happy right now. And my thoughts are full of her.

I can’t give you any reason for me to feel this way. It’s not rational. It’s not reasonable. I know all that. But for right now — try as I might to be logical — I’m happy.

For reasons that I don’t understand, happiness swells my heart. This happiness makes my heart bubble over with joy. It makes me feel love — more strongly than ever — and that love flows wherever it wants. And it flows to her. I couldn’t stop it if I wanted to.

I know all the things that normally upset me will still be there tomorrow. I know I’ll find plenty to be angry and unhappy about. I really do.

But right now, none of that matters. For now, I am happy. I’m full of love for someone who I can’t see. Can’t talk to. All I want is to share this happiness with her.

Right now, I’m happy to be alive. I’m happy that she’s alive. And I want her heart to share the happiness and love and joy that are filling my heart and overwhelming my soul.

Happiness is too powerful to experience alone. It needs to be shared — and I’m hoping she will somehow feel this magic and know that I’m sending her joy.

But for now, I’ll take a crisp evening walk with the World’s Happiness Dog.

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On a live awards show Sunday night, one man made a joke about a female celebrity. The husband of the celebrity was offended and hit the man who made the joke. Or maybe it was staged for entertainment. Who knows? Who cares? Social media is full of discussion — and even arguments — about this idiocy today. This baffles me. Let’s assume for a moment that the event happened as reported. People have been having such idiotic fights ever since there have been humans. Half the bars in the world see such brief dustups regularly. It simply doesn’t matter. The fact that so many people believe they need to talk about this — or even need to have opinions about it — is more evidence of the bizarre media brainwashing that convinces many to care passionately about brain-dead trivia. Your life will be happier and saner if you focus on yourself, your family and your friends, not on whatever scripted (or spontaneous) bilge that the media wants to pipe into your home.

I’m in the middle of migrating this website to new servers this week. This means you might encounter some unexpected behavior until I get all the bugs worked out. Clicking on my links (including this one) might cause your browser to give you the message that it’s a site without a current security certificate. It’s not actually unsafe, but there’s something which isn’t yet set up for the security certificate. I apologize for any such errors you might encounter while the process is going on. If you notice any problems with content which didn’t migrate properly, I would appreciate you letting me know the details at davidmcelroy@mac.com. Thanks for your patience.

I often wonder what animals think when they look at us and consider the society we’ve created. Yes, I know this is fanciful and unrealistic, but what if they could? Would they be astounded at how we treat each other? Would they be disgusted by the ugliness and pettiness which fill so many of our daily interactions? The truth is that I’m feeling pretty disgusted with humanity tonight. I made the mistake of reading some online interactions that I should have avoided — and it sickened me. The people involved appeared to be vile and stupid and arrogant. I wish I could pretend they’re a tiny minority, but I know better. It’s times such as this when I most need to escape much of “civilization” and disconnect from their world. If humans are going to be worthy of “ruling this planet,” we have a lot of growth to do. And I fear that growth is nowhere in sight. So my buddy Thomas, above, and all of his friends would be right to judge us harshly — and to think, “Why do you folks get to be in charge?”

I should have expected this, but I honestly didn’t. The article I wrote last week about disagreements over treatment for autistic children brought me angry emails. You could almost call it “hate mail.” Of the five emails about it so far, two have been to tell me that I’m wrong to even listen to critics of the most popular therapy for autistic children — and the other three tell me I’m wrong for not condemning the treatment as the “obvious” abuse it is. If you read the article, you know I didn’t take a position on the issue, because I simply don’t know enough to have an opinion. But by talking about the issue, I stepped into a heated controversy. The emails from the two sides convinced me of nothing. But they did give me even more empathy for the unfortunate parents who have to figure out for themselves where the truth lies for their children.

Have you ever had what you thought was a new idea — and then discovered that “old you” had the same idea years ago? I had that experience tonight. And it’s been wonderful. I came up with an idea tonight for a very short satirical film that would be a promotion for a fictitious college. The point is to make the college promote — as good things — everything which is actually terrible about most modern colleges. Then I remembered a fake college that I invented back when I was in college. I had created student recruitment brochures and various newsletters back then, so I decided to call my “new” college by the same name I’d invented years ago: Ochita College. As I searched my computer for any old material I might still have about Ochita from the past, I discovered an email I sent to someone in 2009 — outlining essentially the same idea which I came up with tonight. Since I didn’t remember writing that, it felt like magic. So my next film project just might be this one instead. If all goes well, you might soon see “Ochita College: Your Future Starts Here.” This should be fun.

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