I should have said this long ago: ‘I’m lucky to have you in my life’

By David McElroy · September 28, 2026

For the last couple of days, I’ve had an intense desire to return to a restaurant where I haven’t eaten in years.

Cosmo’s Pizza was one of my two favorite pizza places in Birmingham for many years. (Salvatore’s is the other.) A political client first took me there in the early 1990s and it quickly became a place that I would visit over and over — with many different people.

It was in the heart of Birmingham’s artsy Five Points South area. It was eclectic. The crowd could be strange. There was energy and weirdness in the air. I loved it.

Cosmo’s closed permanently in 2016, so it’s been a decade. But over the weekend, I found myself intensely craving the experience of being there.

I was craving the pizza, but I was craving the atmosphere even more. And after thinking about it for a couple of days, I’ve realized I was craving something else. I was craving some of the experiences I’ve had there — and it finally hit me that I was craving something about the people I’ve taken there, too.

This felt like more than simple nostalgia, though. I had the odd feeling that something in me felt like returning to the past to finish some unfinished emotional business. Every woman I dated for years went to Cosmo’s at least once — and some went there many times with me.

As I tried to get to sleep in the wee hours of Sunday night, I puzzled over what I was feeling. And it suddenly hit me that there was something I needed to say — to women I’ll never even talk with again.

I have dated some amazing women. Most of them have visited Cosmo’s with me at one point or another. Maybe that’s why my mind selected that location as the setting for a lesson it was trying to teach me.

I finally realized through sleepy eyes that what I was experiencing wasn’t just nostalgia for a place I couldn’t visit. It wasn’t even just nostalgia for women I remember fondly.

I’ve been thinking that there’s something I should have said to every one of them, because it was true for each in her own way.

“I’m incredibly lucky to have you in my life,” is what I’d like to go back and say to each of them.

I was engaged to marry two of those women. I spent many happy nights and afternoons there with each of them. There were another dozen who I spent many enjoyable hours with there, too.

I’m not going to be maudlin enough to explain the virtues and personalities of each of the women. Each had different gifts — intelligence, beauty, warmth, talent, humor and personality in different measures.

But I don’t remember ever once making it specifically clear to each of them what I appreciated about her company and her affection.

I went through a long period back then when I was trying to decide who I should marry. I was fortunate enough to have the love and presence of some amazing women during that period. And now that I’m thinking of that period — and all the mistakes I made along the way — I find that one of the unspoken mistakes I made was a lack of gratitude.

If I could go back, I would tell each of these women what I appreciated about her, whether it was a long-term relationship or just a short-term thing that never led to anything serious.

And for a few in particular, I would make sure each realized exactly why I chose to spend time with her — intelligence, warmth, empathy, love, personality and a dozen other things.

It would be odd to contact old girlfriends out of the blue to say such things, of course, so I’m not ridiculous enough to consider actually doing it. Most of them are married now. Maybe all of them are. What I might say wouldn’t fit into the context of their lives.

I’ve just suddenly realized that I have a lot of gratitude for these amazing and loving women. I now wish I had had the wisdom to show them how much I appreciated them at the time.

So if you happen to be one of those women from long ago — whether you were ever one of my Cosmo’s companions or not — please know that I appreciated something about you. Every one of you.

I remain grateful for what each of you brought to my life. Every one of you is special in your own way. So thank you for spending time with me. I appreciate you.

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