A love I once knew is long gone, but faith remains for future love

By David McElroy · October 15, 2026

As I pulled up to the terminal at the Birmingham airport early Thursday morning, my eyes scanned for Concourse C. But something in my heart was unexpectedly scanning for something else.

I felt the tug of something from the past. From other trips to this place. From a love that was once powerful and overwhelming, but which has been dead for years.

I had come to the airport Thursday to drop a friend off for a flight to Houston for medical treatment. I used to fly through this building pretty regularly, but I hardly ever have reason to come to the airport anymore. But something about just coming to the terminal awakened memories of coming here to meet a woman who used to come see me.

Which concourse did her flights use?

I couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter, but that bothered me. My heart remembers joyfully embracing her as she arrived and feeling her slip away when she left each time. The memories were vivid this morning, but I stupidly debated whether it was Concourse A or Concourse B where these scenes took place.

It was easier to let my rational mind debate irrelevant details than it was to feel what my heart insisted on feeling.

When you love a person — truly love him or her, not just have feelings of infatuation or attraction — does that love ever die? I’m not sure it does, at least not for me.

Even though I wasn’t at the airport longer than five minutes today — just long enough to drop my friend at a curb — I’ve been thinking all day about what the trip awakened for me.

It’s been confusing.

On one hand, I’ve experienced the memories of joy from years ago. I remember the eager anticipation of waiting for her flights to land. I remember the warm and emotional embrace of touching someone I hadn’t seen for days or weeks. I remember the love in her eyes — and the fire in my heart — as we were reunited each time.

But on the other hand, this is very much a love that’s part of the distant past. She and I haven’t spoken for years. She’s married and has a family. I have no idea who she is today. I don’t know her thoughts. I have no idea whether she ever thinks of me. Whatever I felt today — in the uncomfortable memories of the past — it’s about something that’s firmly in the past.

What I feel is ambiguous. I can easily admit to remembering — and even cherishing — a love that once meant everything to me. But I can also experience that as nothing but a fond memory.

I know that what I had with that woman is firmly in the past. I know that what I experienced today has nothing to do with wanting to resurrect that dead love. So what’s the point? Why would these memories of long ago soften my heart and make me feel butterflies that I haven’t felt for years?

Maybe memories of past love just remind us of what’s possible.

Maybe these memories just serve the purpose of whispering to me that I’m still lovable. It’s a reminder that a beautiful and brilliant and competent woman can know me very deeply and love me. It’s a reminder that such a person can see who I really am and want to marry me and build a family with me.

As I’ve experienced these memories today, the painful end of that relationship has been an afterthought, at best. I’ve been thinking about the good times I had with her — how much she loved me and how much I loved her.

The realities of what killed the relationship haven’t mattered. The mistakes she made and the mistakes I made seemed irrelevant. All that mattered was the memory that we loved each other — and that this love felt really good and true and emotionally healthy.

I don’t want yesterday’s love. I want whatever love waits for me in the future.

But even though I have no interest in this woman who I once loved dearly, I’m grateful for what I’ve felt today.

I’m grateful for the reminder that someone wonderful is still going to love me — for the reminder that I’m going to love someone with a love even greater than that of the past.

Maybe old love never completely dies, but it does serve purpose when it reminds me that there is a greater love still waiting for me somewhere. I just have to find her.

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