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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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If authentic connection is absent, we crave love and a human touch

By David McElroy · April 6, 2020

When my body needs fuel, I experience a sensation I call hunger. When my body is becoming dehydrated, I feel something we call thirst.

And when my soul needs authentic human connection, I experience something — a hunger, a hurt, a passion — which doesn’t really have a name.

Sometimes we call it loneliness, but it’s more than that. It’s an emptiness. It’s emotional. It’s intellectual. It’s spiritual. And it’s physical.

This inner yearning is the force which has allowed the human race to survive for so long. The writer of the Hebrew book of Genesis tells us that God looked at the world he had made and at the man he had made, then said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Even thousands of years ago, the wise men who wrote such books knew that a man and a woman needed one another. And something inside us won’t leave us alone until we go back to our personal origins — and finally get that right.

In a time of crisis — such as today — I feel this hunger as never before.

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Conflicting expectations can kill even the deepest love and hope

By David McElroy · April 4, 2020

When you start a relationship — especially if it leads to marriage — you assume the other person wants the same things you want.

You’ve probably never even consciously considered what you expect. Your partner hasn’t given much deep thought to what either of you expects. Each one of you comes to the relationship with what you consider to be normal — and that’s what you assume this new partner wants.

When a loving relationship is new and exciting, it’s easy to look past the times when those differing expectations create confusion or even hurt. But the longer you’re with someone — and the cumulative effect of those differing expectations makes one or both of you unhappy — the more tensions surface. And the more you start thinking there’s something deeply flawed with your partner.

What most people don’t realize is that each relationship has unspoken agreements and expectations — and those unacknowledged expectations destroy happiness and make most relationships toxic.

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Son’s prayer for dying mother awakened emotion for NYC doc

By David McElroy · April 1, 2020

An emergency room doctor faces death every day, but Dr. Mert Erogul experienced a touching encounter with life this week — as he watched life slipping away from a 100-year-old woman.

Erogul is a physician at Maimonides Medical Center in Brooklyn, N.Y. It’s been a terrible week for medical staffers at hospitals across New York City, as these overworked doctors and nurses care for those afflicted with COVID-19 in addition to their normal work load.

But the story of one patient stands out to Erogul this week.

Among the massive caseload he was dealing with was a 100-year-old Hasidic Jewish woman who had been stricken by COVID-19 and gotten pneumonia. Erogul wanted to get her stable enough to send home — so she could die at home with family — but she was doing so poorly that he couldn’t release her.

After the woman’s blood pressure dropped and Erogul decided to keep her in the hospital, the woman’s son kept calling for an hour to find out how she was doing.

“I finally told him, ‘Look, she’s a hundred years old with pneumonia in both lungs,'” Erogul wrote on a Facebook post. “‘She’s not good. She’s not going to do well.'”

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Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
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Alex was already curling up to go to sleep in the Alex was already curling up to go to sleep in the cat bed on my desk when I went to the office to tell the cats good night at 2:30 a.m. He raised his head to see what I want and I got a quick shot, but he was curled back up within seconds. All the lights are off in the office now and all three of them are asleep.
This is the way Alex sees himself at all times. 😺 This is the way Alex sees himself at all times. 😺
I still warms my heart that two of my three cats t I still warms my heart that two of my three cats today actually like attention. I went for years with a bunch of cats who didn’t want any lap time and didn’t want to be held. So I’m still inclined to show off Alex and Oliver when I come in and they’re eager to see me. (It’s far less common for Sam to show interest.) When I got home tonight, Alex was purring and eager to be picked up — and it made me happy.
From the CritterCam: Almost two hours after I kept From the CritterCam: Almost two hours after I kept seeing Alex trying to get Oliver to get out of his bed on my desk, the tabby boy has won his battle — but it seems as though he’s remaining vigilant just in case his gray brother comes back.
From the CritterCam: Oliver has been sleeping in t From the CritterCam: Oliver has been sleeping in the cat bed on my desk at home and Alex keeps coming over there to see if he can nudge him to get up — so he can have that sleeping spot for himself. 😺
From the CritterCam: At 4 a.m., Alex is wide awake From the CritterCam: At 4 a.m., Alex is wide awake in his bed just watching the webcam in the pitch black office — as though he’s knows I’m checking on him in the dark.
When I got back home just now, Oliver was eager fo When I got back home just now, Oliver was eager for some lap time.
I just told Alex that I need to go out for a littl I just told Alex that I need to go out for a little while, but he doesn’t seem to have accepted the message so far. He likes having me as a giant pillow.
Sam has been in a side window of the office for mu Sam has been in a side window of the office for much of the afternoon watching blue skies and sunshine, but just as soon as I took this, there was a clap of thunder and then heavy clouds quickly rolled in. Now he’s watching rain and everything’s pretty dark instead. He seems happy either way, because he’s not out in the rain.
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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