David McElroy

They were just another random family having dinner together at a fast food restaurant. But I couldn’t stop listening to their interaction with each other — and feeling envious.

I don’t know these people. I’ll probably never see them again. They have no idea anybody was paying attention to them. But there were some things about them that made me want to be like them.

There were two little girls and a boy, along with their parents. Everybody got along and seemed completely relaxed with one another. The children were well-behaved for their age, but they weren’t perfect. The parents gently corrected when they got a bit out of line, but they were relaxed about it.

The parents seemed as though they liked each other. They were trying to figure something out about an online order that they were about to pick up, so they were collaborating in the midst of dealing with the kids. Nobody was snapping or being short. They were polite and helpful to each other.

It sounds completely unremarkable, but what I saw was completely different from what I typically see and hear.

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In 2008, I had decided to marry a woman — and we had set a date — but I needed to break the news to another woman who had been hoping I would come back to her.

I knew what I wanted, but when I met with the second woman, something went wrong. She begged me to change my mind and I felt guilty because I couldn’t give her what she wanted. I made the worst possible decision for everybody, all because I tried to sit on the fence and avoid hurting anyone.

I got lost that weekend and I feel as though I’ve never found my way home.

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If you just hate the people who start wars, you’re ultimately no better than they are.

The cultural reality is that political conservatives are more likely to advocate going to war — especially during a Republican administration — and progressive leftists are more likely to express strong hatred for warmongers — if they happen to be Republicans.

And those two sides hate each other. The “pro-war” people and the “pro-peace” people both tend to be full of hate. There‘s something fundamentally wrong with that.

I detest Donald Trump. I had a strong disregard and disrespect for the man long before it was ever suggested that he run for president. He is a loathsome and dysfunctional liar and narcissist. His ego and his lack of political skills might be leading us into a war right now — a war which I don’t want.

But I do not hate Trump. I don’t hate the Iranian crowds who are chanting, “Death to America!”

Even if I detest the actions of people on both sides, I am making the difficult choice to love them — because hatred is what puts us where we are right now.

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