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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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Sad husband: ‘My beautiful wife is dying; I’m so sad I can’t sleep’

By David McElroy · November 17, 2018

The yellowed face in the picture caught my attention when I noticed the pinkish color of the healthy hand on her forehead. And then I noticed the man’s summary of his story.

“Here she is, Teresa,” the anonymous man wrote on a social media post. “She’s the love of my life, and today is her birthday. And she’s dying.”

This is not my story. I have very little to add to it. But this couple’s story touched me. There’s nothing we can do to help them. But Teresa is dying of liver disease and he’s terrified and heartbroken. The very least we can do is listen to their story.

“She’s getting sicker every day,” the husband writes. “She gets confused from high ammonia levels. She’s yellow because her liver is failing. She’s in pain, and can’t take anything because of the bad liver.”

In the midst of their fear and pain, he recounts that he’s thankful that Teresa walked into the company where he worked around 8 a.m. on Sept. 23, 1983. He said he had to work up the courage to ask her out — and he worded the question vaguely in case she turned him down. But he had to ask her out, he said, because “I fell in love with her eyes the first time I saw her.”

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: disease, health, love, marriage

Bride is 89 and the groom is 86,
but love can show up any time

By David McElroy · November 11, 2018

If you had seen this couple at a Rhode Island wedding Saturday, you might have thought they were grandparents of someone getting married. But this is the bride and groom. She’s 89 and he’s 86.

A family member who posted the photo on Reddit Saturday night said this is the bride’s third marriage. She’s already outlived two husbands.

We think we know a lot about how love is supposed to work. Family and friends and even therapists have their notions of what makes sense. People try to tell others to “be sensible,” by which they mean make decisions that are what they would make. But love often has different plans for us.

The Catholic priest who married the couple made the same mistake. He had prepared nice remarks which he thought would be appropriate for a couple getting married when they were older. He talked about how it takes years to grow this strong bond of love. Then he asked how long the couple have known each other.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: aging, love, relationships, wedding

How could we take responsibility but avoid self-destructive shame?

By David McElroy · November 5, 2018

I knew from the beginning that it was a bad idea to date Megan. It was three years ago. I had casually known her since she was an 18-year-old working at a fast food restaurant where I used to go.

By the time she got in touch with me and wanted to talk, she was 25. We met for dinner one night and she told me she had always been interested in me. She wanted to know if I’d be interested in dating her.

Megan isn’t anyone I would have ever pursued. She’s attractive and sweet. She has a wonderful heart. But she’s not the brightest person and her interests were very different from mine, to put it as nicely as I know how. She had also grown up among uneducated country people, so her accent and grammar were like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.

But I had been desperately trying to get over a woman who I couldn’t have, so I welcomed the opportunity for a distraction. I knew it was a bad idea — destined to go nowhere — but I agreed to try it.

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  • We’re neither friends nor enemies, just strangers who share the past
  • ‘This path leads to somewhere I think I can finally say, I’m home’
  • When love finally dies, it’s like a fever breaks and the pain is gone

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: ego, guilt, love, relationships, shame

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Future Photo Display

As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

My Instagram

Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me. The first picture is when I just showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. (He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten.) The second picture is the best portrait I could get of us. He looked nice and natural, but I looked a bit ridiculous. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
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Critter Instagram

I brought the little tuxedo guy inside the house f I brought the little tuxedo guy inside the house for just a few minutes Friday night. He tolerated it pretty well, but he was ready to go very quickly. I had Alex, Oliver and Sam put away in the office so they wouldn’t react to him (and vice versa). He’s on the front porch eating now. I still haven’t found any evidence that he already has a home.
Almost a month ago, I posted a photo of a “tuxedo Almost a month ago, I posted a photo of a “tuxedo cat” who’s been hanging out in my neighborhood. I can’t find any evidence that he has a home, so I eventually started leaving water and food out for him. He’s been eating on my porch and he finally let me rub him while he ate a couple of days ago. He’s purred while I rubbed him for the last two nights and he let me pick him up for a minute late Thursday night. He wasn’t thrilled with me picking him up, but he allowed it — and didn’t try to scratch me. I took this photo of us while he was trying to decide whether to tolerate me or eat me alive. 😺
Cats haven’t change that much over the centuries. Cats haven’t change that much over the centuries. One of these is an Egyptian statue that’s in a British museum. The other is Oliver. If you just saw the outlines, would be know for sure which was which? 😺
I was just taking a photo of Alex in his bed when I was just taking a photo of Alex in his bed when Oliver decided he wanted to get in on the picture.
From the CritterCam: I’m finally getting to sleep From the CritterCam: I’m finally getting to sleep at 4:30 a.m. and this is what Alex is doing. He’s hanging over the side of his bed almost in the middle of the frame for the webcam. He amuses me. 😺
Alex woke up briefly when I told him I was leaving Alex woke up briefly when I told him I was leaving for the afternoon, but he didn’t seem concerned enough about my impending absence to change his afternoon napping plans.
Sam just woke up from a long nap on that window si Sam just woke up from a long nap on that window sill — and he‘s not yet sure where to take his next nap. It’s tough to fit all of the planned napping into his busy Monday schedule.
From the CritterCam: At 3 a.m., the night vision m From the CritterCam: At 3 a.m., the night vision mode of the webcam shows Alex engaging in a pretty vigorous bath as he’s curled up in his bed ready for sleep.
Oliver is in may lap Sunday night and Sam is stand Oliver is in may lap Sunday night and Sam is standing on the bed just a few feet away watching us. There are times when I suspect he’s confused by the degree to which the other two cats seek out contact with me.
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Briefly

It hasn’t happened yet, but there’s a possibility that I might be taking in a fourth feline. A couple of months ago, a cat-loving neighbor asked whether I’d seen a “tuxedo cat” hanging out in the neighborhood. I hadn’t, but this guy eventually wandered past my house a few weeks later — and we haven’t been able to find evidence that he has a home. I’ve been giving him water and food for the last week and he finally let me pet him two nights ago. He’s purred for me two nights in a row and he let me take a low-quality selfie with him Thursday night. Tonight, though, he let me pick him up and bring him inside to look around. This went surprisingly well, as you can see from this photo. I don’t know whether he’ll be joining the family, but I’m certain that Alex, Oliver and Sam would vote no, at least until they get to know him. I’m trying to make certain he doesn’t have a home, but if he does join us, what do you suppose his name will be?

It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

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