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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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confession

In a vulnerable moment, woman confesses she’s scared to change

By David McElroy · June 14, 2019

I didn’t get a good look at her face, but I saw enough to be pretty sure it was Elizabeth. She was sitting alone in a black Lexus in the parking lot of the fast food restaurant where I had just eaten. I hadn’t seen her for a couple of months, so I walked toward her car and called her name as I approached the partially open window.

As soon as she turned her face toward me, I regretted approaching her. She looked as though she had been crying. Her makeup was a mess. She looked lost and very alone.

“Are you OK?” I asked. I couldn’t think of something more appropriate, so I asked the obvious.

She looked away and I was afraid she just didn’t want to talk. We don’t know each other that well, after all. I had never seen her in a moment of vulnerability of this sort. I had only known her as a charming, intelligent young woman who always had herself perfectly together.

After a long moment, she turned back to look at me. Her face was almost emotionally blank.

“No, I’m not OK,” she finally said. “Everything’s wrong.”

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: confession, love, psychology, secrets, sex

This is my private confessional; the truths I write often scare me

By David McElroy · May 28, 2019

For me, writing is confession. A very private part of me is naked for you to see. I’m vulnerable and embarrassed at times — but what you see if the truth. If you want it.

If you read what I write here, you know a side of me which remains hidden from the rest of the world. Those who work with me have no idea about the things I confess to you. Those who meet me casually anywhere else would never guess about what I have to say here.

When I was young, I was very guarded, because I was afraid about what people might think of me. I wasn’t going to change who I was to suit them, but I was still afraid of their judgment. Slowly, though, that changed. I realized that I could be very open about who I am. Why?

Nobody else is paying attention to the things which I openly share — because they’re too busy being terrified about what people might think of them, too.

And so I engage in therapy here — by telling the truth — secure in the knowledge that almost nobody else will hear. And it makes me wish or hope that there are those among you who will understand and identify with my confession — who will silently say to themselves, “That’s the way I feel, too.”

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: confession, emotions, feelings, psychology, writing

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I hope this rainbow over I-459 on my way home is a I hope this rainbow over I-459 on my way home is a good omen for the weekend. 😃
I’m very happy to report that my promotion to st I’m very happy to report that my promotion to starship captain has finally come through, so I’ll be leaving Earth and heading to the stars very soon — just as soon as Starfleet has some uniforms in stock that fit chubby guys like me. Anybody else want to sign up and leave the planet with me. 🖖🏻#startrek
Here’s the sunset that caught my attention on my Here’s the sunset that caught my attention on my drive home just a few minutes ago. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I go back and forth between being fascinated and b I go back and forth between being fascinated and being horrified by what AI software can do now. When image generators were awful, it was easy to laugh at them, but what I’m seeing lately blurs the line between reality and total fabrication. I just asked ChatGPT to show me a family portrait for me — with a wife and two children — based on what it predicts as looking right for me. If I just saw this photo that it created, I would think these were real people. I might even think I have amnesia and don’t remember them. But three of them don’t even exist. It’s harder and harder to know what’s real online. At least I’m telling you directly that this is fake. I’m not pretending this is my hidden family that I just haven’t told you about. #AI
This is the sky view that greeted me as I stepped This is the sky view that greeted me as I stepped out of Walmart a few minutes ago. I didn’t have my “real” camera with me, but my old iPhone 14 did a pretty decent job. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
It no longer seems to function, but this payphone It no longer seems to function, but this payphone is still sitting on the side of the road just a couple of miles from my house. I would love to know the last time somebody was able to put a coin into this thing and make a phone call.
When I was coming up with the art recently to illu When I was coming up with the art recently to illustrate an essay (for my website) about the benefits of seeing yourself as a fool, I developed two different versions and was torn about which to use. I ended up using the simpler art, but I liked some aspects of the other one, too. It was a fun concept to play with, so I thought I’d show you both versions. I used ChatGPT to generate these from specific concepts, so I was happy with them. A human artist would have done a slightly better job, but the work wouldn’t have been free and it wouldn’t have been quick. This is why artists face serious challenges in the coming years, especially insofar as cheap commercial art goes.
I didn’t have time to stop and I didn’t have m I didn’t have time to stop and I didn’t have my “real” camera with me anyway, but this is what my iPhone was able to get just a few minutes before sunset as I drove west on I-20 just east of Birmingham about an hour ago. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
This was the Birmingham sunset at about 8 p.m. Fri This was the Birmingham sunset at about 8 p.m. Friday. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
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I set the “real” camera up late Sunday to try I set the “real” camera up late Sunday to try to take some photos with Alex — since I did the same with Oliver last night — but he absolutely refused to cooperate. He seemed more interested in taking over the camera and taking his own photos. Technically, we’re both in the shot since that reddish image on the A7’s screen is my face. 😸 #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #sonya7iv
Oliver was on my desk giving himself a bath late S Oliver was on my desk giving himself a bath late Sunday afternoon when a bird suddenly started chirping just outside an office window. If the glass weren’t there, that bird’s life would be in serious danger. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
I just got back home and Oliver wanted attention, I just got back home and Oliver wanted attention, but he refused to look at the camera when I tried to take pictures of us. I’d say he looks very annoyed, as though to say, “I wanted attention, but I didn’t agree to be a model for your crazy online friends.” #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturday
Lucy’s had a good day, so she spent more time th Lucy’s had a good day, so she spent more time than usual in the back yard late this afternoon. She seems to enjoy just walking around in the leaves and watching the neighbors work in their yard on a beautiful autumn Saturday. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
Alex just woke up late Saturday afternoon and he’s looking over the edge of the platform on which he’s been napping. He has to make sure his brothers aren’t doing something dangerous in the office below. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturday
Alex and Sam have gone to sleep in the office, but Alex and Sam have gone to sleep in the office, but Oliver is right next to me on the bed as I work just after 3 a.m. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturdayeve
I told Alex that I’m heading out for a little wh I told Alex that I’m heading out for a little while Friday night, but he looked at me as though he wasn’t sure why I bothered to tell him. He’s clearly going to be asleep in another 10 minutes. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturdayeve
I just came home to feed the cats, but Oliver dema I just came home to feed the cats, but Oliver demanded some lap time first. The other guys might not appreciate his actions delaying their dinner. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturdayeve
Alex is hanging out with me on my desk late Thursd Alex is hanging out with me on my desk late Thursday night. Even though he watches me and I often talk to him, I don’t think he has any real understanding about how frustrated I am with the intellectual and philosophical state of the world around us. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
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When I first heard about this, I thought it must be satire. When I discovered it was real, I was appalled, but I still thought it must be a one-time thing from some nutty activist. But it turns out it’s the latest bit of pandering to a bunch of far-left activists who believe that a man can become a woman if he decides to claim he’s a woman. As everybody knows, men have prostate glands. Women do not. Period. End of story. Men can get prostate cancer. Women cannot. But political activists are so eager to pretend that a man claiming to be a “trans woman” is really a woman that they are insisting that “women” be included in public health messages about the issue. This is nothing but political virtue-signaling. If you’re a man, you know which parts you have. You know that you ought to be screened. Nobody is made any safer by dragging far-left gender ideology into simple medical reality.

Every time someone tries to tighten requirements around the use of absentee ballots, I hear screams from Democrats and others on the political left that such efforts are nothing but “suppression of black voters.” These protests have never made sense to me, especially because it’s never been a secret that absentee ballot fraud goes on all the time in certain areas. (Everybody knew it when I worked in politics.) The people who engage in such fraud are rarely caught — often because the local political establishment approves of the crime — but a Democrat who won a primary election in Clay County, Alabama, last year has pleaded guilty to this sort of cheating. Terry Andrew Heflin was running for a place on the Clay County Commission. He was caught ordering seven absentee ballots in the names of various voters and sending them to his post office box — after which he used the ballots to vote absentee for himself seven time. Did he have other people cast additional fraudulent ballots? We’ll never know. But in a primary in which he was able to win with only 141 votes, it wouldn’t take many fraudulent votes to change the election. The next time you hear “civil rights activists” claim that it’s just “voter suppression” to hurt blacks which is at the root of efforts to stop this fraud, remember Terry Heflin. If you care about fair and honest elections, ballot security and voter identity should matter to you.

A state legislator in Maine has been stripped of the ability to speak in the state Legislature — and her votes are not being counted on legislative issues — all because she made a truthful social media post. Rep. Laurel Libby (R-Auburn, Maine) opposes allowing boys to compete against girls’ teams in school athletics and she’s become known for making an issue of it. On Feb. 17, she posted on Facebook about a recent example that she found outrageous. She posted side-by-side photos of a boy named John who competed last year in a state track event and won fifth place against other boys two years ago — and a photo of the same boy (now called Katie) who won first place in the same event this year against girls. Whether you find this outrageous or not, Libby is clearly being honest and truthful about the objective facts of an issue of public importance. But the state Legislature censured her. Democrats decreed that she could not speak in the House and that her votes would not count on legislation — until she apologized for the outrage of telling the truth. She refused and her constituents have been unrepresented in the state House since then. The people who promote this ideology are out of touch with reality and won’t rest until they force the rest of us to join them in this delusion. But even if you agree with “trans” ideology, you should be appalled at this heavy-handed attack on political speech.

The late Steve Jobs was at the center of our culture’s transition from analog to digital. He co-founded Apple Computer. He led the team that revolutionized personal computing with the first Macintosh. As CEO of Apple, he led the development of the iPhone and later the iPad. You would think the children of such a man would be surrounded by technology. But Jobs and his wife Laureen didn’t let their children use iPads. Their home had few screens of any kind. Even though Jobs spent most of his time developing and selling Macs and iPhones and iPads, he was home with his wife and children for dinner when he was in town. The family ate together at a simple wooden table in their kitchen — and there were no digital devices or focus on popular culture. Instead, he’s said to have guided his family toward deep discussions of art, philosophy and education — with no iPads to be found. If the man who guided the development of such products chose a different path for his own children, does that suggest that his digital experience taught him that children need human connection, not screens? And does it suggest the possibility that we might be better off if we made the same choice for our families?

For four years, Donald Trump’s supporters screamed that everything that went wrong was the fault of Joe Biden. They were sometimes right and they were sometimes delusional. (Anybody who knows me understands that I can’t stand Biden any more than I can stand Trump, just for different reasons.) But for two months, Trump has rampaged through U.S. political life — vandalizing pretty much everything in sight — and the vast majority of his supporters are silent at best. Many watch as he blows up the world economy and they make excuses for him. They’re in absolute denial, even about things that Trump is doing very intentionally. Anybody who understands economics and history knows that tariffs are a terrible idea from a pragmatic point of view. Anybody who values individual freedom knows that tariffs are massive taxes on individuals — and they’re a tool of political control over the ability of people to trade freely. Trump is the antithesis of everything which political conservatives stood for just a few years ago. It’s far past time for people who claim to be conservatives to reclaim the principles and values which they used to claim — and stop this mad man before he can accelerate the day when we experience economic and social collapse. Open your eyes to reality and reject this lying narcissist.

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