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David McElroy

An Alien Sent to Observe the Human Race

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hunger

Sudden realization of hunger for taste of kindred soul is killing me

By David McElroy · November 14, 2018

I’ve been starving for a long time — and I fear this hunger might destroy me — but I have no idea where to find this peculiar thing which I crave tonight.

When you’ve been hungry for long enough, you eventually quit feeling hunger. If you don’t believe me, go on a fast or at least stop eating sugar. At first, you’re desperately hungry and you crave what you’re not getting. But after awhile, your body chemistry stabilizes and changes in some ways that aren’t worth getting into here. Then you quit feeling hunger. Even if you’re starving to death, your body might not feel hunger.

My hunger isn’t for food. This hunger won’t kill me physically. But I haven’t had this need met for so long that I had quit noticing the hunger. I’ve been operating as I am for so long that I’m numb — in ways that are intellectual, emotional and spiritual.

But something happened tonight that triggered the hunger. I was reminded of what it feels like to have this need filled — and the realization of the painful need was back like a forgotten forest fire raging out of control. And now it threatens to consume me.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Ayn Rand, heart, hunger, intelligence, need, soul

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Instagram post 2194666102198803305_166421 Just before sunset Sunday afternoon, this was the beautiful view through the trees in my front yard. #nature #naturephotography #sky #blue #clouds #birmingham #alabama
Instagram post 2193971564161507361_166421 Just a few minutes ago, I watched the last of sunset through trees on the horizon. #nature #naturephotography #trees #sky #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
Instagram post 2193959493323551515_166421 The moon was beautiful through the heavy cloud cover just before sunset Saturday afternoon. #nature #naturephotography #clouds #moon #birmingham #alabama
Instagram post 2191099055338434111_166421 The sky was beautiful behind my office as I left work Tuesday evening. #nature #naturephotography #sky #clouds #colorful #sunset #birmingham #alabama
Instagram post 2189615458475600868_166421 There were no clouds to speak of tonight, so sunset was just a background glow on the horizon. #nature #naturephotography #golden #sky #sunset #birmingham #alabama
Instagram post 2187444775385739288_166421 Here’s the sunset on the evening of Thanksgiving. This is from a cemetery near my house. #nature #naturephotography #colorful #sky #clouds #sunset#cemetery #birmingham #alabama
Instagram post 2187425700773221736_166421 I should have a sunset photo from the camera to post in a few minutes, but here’s a video from the phone to give you an idea of what it felt like. #nature #sunset #birmingham #alabama
Instagram post 2185257993734975635_166421 Here’s the color I’m seeing from the fading sunset as I drive away from work Monday afternoon.
Instagram post 2184583878711638339_166421 We still have a mixture of colors on our trees in this part of the South. There are reds and golds, but those are also mixed with the lingering green of some trees, such as this one in my front yard. #nature #naturephotography #trees #color #autumn #autumnleaves #birmingham #alabama
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Instagram post 2195258442661667798_1489647434 The human filled the water bowl about 10 minutes ago, so Molly and Merlin drank water for most of that time, as though they had never had water in their lives. After tiring themselves out this way, they both just sat there at the water bowl for a few minutes. They now start the long wait until dinner. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #greeneyes #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Instagram post 2194864293814734499_1489647434 It’s late Sunday night, but Merlin is still on duty, protecting us from ne’er-do-wells who might be in the neighborhood outside his window. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #merlin2020 #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Instagram post 2194571853165882097_1489647434 On a chilly Sunday afternoon, all three of the cats are huddled together on the penthouse level of their castle. Molly is in the front and Merlin is partially seen over on the right, while Thomas sits in the middle and keeps watch. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Instagram post 2194173842464028877_1489647434 Lucy just finished her midnight walk but she would try to convince you that she hasn’t been out all day and that you need to take her for another couple of miles. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
Instagram post 2194106088012885286_1489647434 Thomas keeps his eyes on Merlin from the other side of my desk Saturday night. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Instagram post 2193923366799690027_1489647434 Molly, Merlin and Thomas have been sleeping their Saturday afternoon away on their comfortable and impregnable castle. Molly had been curled up with Merlin on the top level, but she stood when the camera headed her way. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturday
Instagram post 2193876074889568365_1489647434 Merlin enjoys the warm afternoon sunshine in an office window. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #merlin2020 #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturday
Instagram post 2193509318899649637_1489647434 Lucy is less than fascinated with the economics videos that her human has been watching late Friday night, but she hasn’t gone to sleep yet. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
Instagram post 2193471491403075330_1489647434 Molly is using her secret psychic powers to suggest to her human that perhaps we should turn the lights off and go to sleep for the night. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #greeneyes #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturdayeve
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Briefly

I’m in the McDonald’s near my house, sitting near the play area. There’s one little girl — maybe 5 years old — who’s here with her father. He’s about my age, so he’s older than the typical father of a 5-year-old. Even though she’s the only kid here, the girl is giggling and having fun by herself. She periodically cries out, “Daddy, look!” And then she shows off something she thinks is impressive. Then, just a moment ago, she called out very sweetly, “Daddy?” He patiently said, “Yes, sweetheart.” And then she said, “Daddy, I love you so much!” And then she went back to playing as her father looked on with happiness and love.

When I first discovered the idea of unschooling, it was so radical that I had trouble finding people who even knew what it was. Today, the idea is mainstream enough that major media outlets sometimes cover the topic in a favorable way. The Sunday newspaper supplement called Parade had a strongly favorable article about unschooling a couple of weeks ago which explained what it is and how it’s different from homeschooling. It’s less structured. There’s no curriculum. There’s plenty of flexibility. And there are no tests and grades. (Most people today are shocked to learn that testing and grading didn’t exist in schools through history until the last couple hundred years.) If you want your children to think for themselves instead of following the herd mentality that pervades every school I’ve been part of, you owe it to yourself — and to your kids — to consider taking control of your children’s development back from governments. Just because you and I survived institutional schools doesn’t mean it’s the wisest choice. Start by reading the Parade article. It might open your eyes.

In the Birmingham suburb of Hueytown, the Golden Gophers of Hueytown High School had just defeated the Eufala Tigers in the second round of the state playoffs Friday night. It’s not a game that will mean a lot to anybody outside those two communities, but it meant everything to the players and coaches involved. After the game, Hueytown defensive coordinator Trent Campbell was celebrating with his victorious players when he noticed Eufala offensive lineman Dallas Ingram distraught and alone. Campbell left his players to console the distraught Ingram and photographer Dennis Victory caught photos of the pair together. “My reaction was to go see about him, because I’ll see my guys on Sunday and next week and the rest of their high school careers, but that’s a young man we watched on film for a week and studied and he’s a fantastic player,” Campbell said later. “And it wasn’t too long ago when I played my last high school football game and I know what that feeling is and you sort of never forget that. I went to tell him what a great player I thought he was and what a great game I thought they played and I wish nobody had to lose that night because it was an incredible game.” This is what sports at the high school level should be about. Winning is great and winning is fun. But humanity and decency last longer.

I have changed radically about some things over the years, but probably none of those changes have been as great as the ways that I feel about people who are viewed as evil or criminal. When I was young, I was eager to see criminals or foreign political enemies killed. Today, I don’t view such people though rose-colored glasses and I don’t view them as blameless folks who are going to turn their lives around if we just think happy thoughts. But I can’t celebrate the death of anybody, even if he might deserve it in some ways of thinking about it. Even if it’s sometimes necessary to kill someone — and those cases are often debatable — I regret the death of someone who will now never have a chance to discover love and change his life. There are some evil people in this world, but I can’t celebrate their deaths.

There was a time when I was idealistic enough to believe that if a writer expressed his thoughts clearly and simply enough, any bright and honest person would understand his point. I know better now. We all bring so many unconscious assumptions to the things we read that we often see what we expect to see instead of what the writer intended. This is incredibly frustrating to me as a writer, but I’m trying more and more to just say what I need to say — as clearly as I know how — and then ignore the inevitable responses which show that others perceived something which was not intended. I have to write for those who “get” where I’m coming from, not for those who see my words through personal filters that change my meaning. I hope my intentions are clear to you and I hope what I write can be useful to you, but if not, maybe my work just isn’t right for you. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

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