I feel like a contradiction lately.
I want to withdraw from the modern world — from the intellectual, psychological and spiritual rot that’s leading humanity down an ugly path — but I don’t want to give up the conveniences that have come with that modern world.
I suspect the internal rot which I see around me inevitably comes right along with the technological marvels we’re building for ourselves — and it requires some kind of terrible tradeoff that I don’t want to make. I want to have the shiny technological toys with none of the downsides.
It’s hard to know where to strike a balance. On one side, there’s an Amish-like life of being grounded in the warmth of community and personal connection. It’s the ideal or fantasy of country life — of being rooted to land and a slower pace and more traditional values. On the other side is a post-modernist life of shallow connection with little meaning, but filled with technological progress and urban excitement — along with opportunities for success and wealth and ego gratification.

NOTEBOOK: Are Romney, Obama running for president or king?
Emptiness can bring panic that feels like being stalked by fear
How long will I keep finding toxic programming from my childhood?
We’re all going to die, but what do you want to do before you die?
Lives change in moments of truth when we stop lying to ourselves
What would I do with my time if the money made no difference?
As we enjoyed the sunset together, language and borders didn’t matter