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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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FRIDAY FUNNIES

By David McElroy · December 9, 2011

As Christmas approaches, these guys are having to set aside their search for self-discovery, but this is what they do in the off-season. (Click this one for a bigger size.)

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Industrial age relic: Do companies pay for your time or your brain?

By David McElroy · December 9, 2011

When I started work as a newspaper reporter many years ago, I had to clock in and out every day if I expected to be paid. Just like many millions of people, I was paid for my time, not my output. I never understood why.

When I was a teen-ager and first started cutting lawns to make money, I quickly discovered that people wanted to pay me an hourly rate. I used to gently push for a different arrangement. I wanted a flat fee for the service, because I felt that the hourly rate punished me for working harder and faster. Sometimes my clients agreed, but many held out for an hourly rate, so I was stuck having to make sure I didn’t work too fast and thus cheat myself. I hated it.

The obsession with paying people for their time is a relic of the industrial age, when human labor was considered just another interchangeable part of an industrial machine. (The idea that any hour of labor should have the same worth as another hour of labor was also an important cornerstone of Karl Marx’s thought.) The idea might have made sense in an age when people were treated like gears in machines. It has no place in a world where brains are more valuable than brawn.

I came across software today that is something like a modern version of the time clock for people who work for companies from home or other locations. The software is called Odesk. It’s installed on your computer and it takes screenshots of whatever you’re doing at six times each hour. It records the movement of your mouse. It can even record keystrokes to figure out what you’re doing. If your six screenshots show work apparently taking place, you get paid. If one of your screenshots shows something other than work, you give up one-sixth of your hour’s pay.

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Want to return to a simpler world? Say ‘goodbye’ to cheeseburgers

By David McElroy · December 8, 2011

It’s popular today to complain about our complicated and interconnected world and to yearn for simpler days. I’ve certainly felt that way at times. But I think we sometimes forget that we can’t have the things we want unless the world is complicated and interconnected.

There’s a famous essay published in 1958 by Leonard Read called “I, Pencil,” which explains where a pencil comes from — and how many people are required to produce a simple pencil. I read something today that considers a more modern example. Waldo Jaquith wrote earlier this week about the impracticality of a cheeseburger until modern times.

If you want a cheeseburger today, you can probably go to a dozen places within shouting distance of your home or office and get one pretty cheaply. But if you’d lived before the days of modern transportation and refrigeration and all the other things that make a cheeseburger possible, you wouldn’t have found one. It wasn’t that it technically impossible. It was simply that it was so difficult that it would have required tremendous resources to duplicate what we get cheaply today.

I’m not going to retell what made Jaquith start thinking about it. His piece is short and worth reading. Take a look for yourself. And remember it the next time you start longing for a simper life. You can have a simple world if you want it, but there are going to be a lot of tradeoffs. You might gain some things, but you’d give up even more. It’s worth thinking about what modern technology has brought us.

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For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
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Sam is hanging out with me in the office late Wedn Sam is hanging out with me in the office late Wednesday night. He’s a handsome fellow who’s more confident every day.
If you could speak “cat,” you would hear Alex maki If you could speak “cat,” you would hear Alex making it very clear that it’s time for his dinner and he’s not happy to wait any further.
A neighbor told me last week that we apparently ha A neighbor told me last week that we apparently have a new “tuxedo cat” in the neighborhood and I just spotted him. I took this one from inside the house with the 8X lens on my iPhone, so it’s not as sharp as I’d like it to be. By the time I got outside, the cat moved away from me at first, but eventually allowed me to pet him, very briefly, before running away.
You know how Hollywood loves to do sequels and mas You know how Hollywood loves to do sequels and mashups. If you saw my poster this morning for “Attack of the 50ft. Kitten” — as a sequel to the old classic — you will not be surprised to know that this further sequel is already in the works. 😺
This has been delayed in production ever since Oli This has been delayed in production ever since Oliver was a kitten in 2023, but I can finally announce that this future sci-fi classic is soon coming to a theater near you. (For anyone who doesn’t get the reference, it’s based on the classic “Attack of the 50-ft. Woman., which I’ll include as reference.)
From the CritterCam: This is what it looks like at From the CritterCam: This is what it looks like at 5 a.m. when a gray cat definitively spots the sleeping spot he’s about to steal from his older brother, who’s made the mistake of getting out of bed briefly.
As soon as I got home and changed clothes, Oliver As soon as I got home and changed clothes, Oliver wanted attention, but I’m not entirely sure that he’s awake. He and I are at a front window in the office to watch birds for a minute. All three of them were asleep when I got home.
From the CritterCam: Oliver was in the cat bed on From the CritterCam: Oliver was in the cat bed on my desk and Alex decided he wanted that spot, so there was a brief standoff which I watched via the webcam. Alex first tried staring intently, but when that didn’t work, he finally tried to evict Oliver — in the video at the end — but Oliver stood his ground. Alex gave up and moved to the castle, so Oliver is now napping in the bed. And that’s the drama from our house today. 😺
The cats have been mischievous again and they’re i The cats have been mischievous again and they’re in big trouble. They got it into their heads that it would be fun to take the Ecto-1 out for a ride, so they somehow made it to the studio and took off with it. Alex drove, apparently forgetting that he doesn’t know how to drive. Fortunately, Oliver didn’t hit anything serious when he fired the weapon (which he had assumed was just a prop). Sam was just holding on for dear life. 😺
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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