I’ve known for a long time that the people who played the crew of the starship Enterprise when I was a small child are getting old, but it still caught me by surprise Monday night to see a picture of a very old-looking Leonard Nimoy with the news that he has been hospitalized for severe chest pain.
When the celebrities of our youth grow old and start dying, we feel pangs of something. Is it regret? sadness? or something else? I’m not sure what to call it, but the feelings are ultimately about ourselves, not about the people who are dying.
James Doohan (Scotty) and DeForest Kelley (Dr. McCoy) are already gone. Nimoy (Spock) and William Shatner (Capt. Kirk) are old men. What does this say about me?
I know it sounds selfish to interpret someone else’s problems this way, but isn’t that natural? I didn’t know any of these people except as actors whose faces and voices were burned into my child brain. They only have meaning as reminders of the little boy who wanted to join them in space — away from the reality that seemed so unhappy down here.

When love finally dies, it’s like a fever breaks and the pain is gone
Let’s try a candid conversation just for the few who want to hear
What did you want in childhood? Did you abandon those dreams?
If you’re scared of being ‘bad,’ manipulated praise relieves fear
Anatomy of a lie: Why destroy credibility by exaggerating facts?
I’m exhausted and numb from placing trust in the wrong people
Words I wrote as idealistic teen suggest I’m still the same inside