David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

Google’s geeks offer future vision that leads toward inhuman world

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The capabilities of Google’s next-generation Assistant are technically stunning, at least in the stage demo shown to the public Tuesday. The people behind this are brilliant and they’ve apparently solved some very difficult software problems. The result is software that can make a call for you and pretend to be human, as well as write your emails based on what it thinks you were going to say.

But as technically impressive as the demonstrations were, I’m left very uncomfortable with the vision that Google wants to sell to us. In a world that already seems colder and more sterile every day, the last thing I want is software that suggests what I ought to write and misleads people into believing it’s a human calling.

What Google is offering is creepy and disturbing. It’s technically impressive, but I absolutely, positively do not want this technology.

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Whether it makes sense or not, I’ve learned to expect miracles

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The little placard was a fixture at my Aunt Bessie’s house when I was young. She was really my great aunt, so she seemed old for my entire life. She wasn’t an educated woman, so she couldn’t have explained the theology behind it, but she had a powerful faith in God. On top of her huge old wooden console television, the words were always there in her living room.

“Expect a miracle.”

I didn’t really understand that in real-world terms. I knew about miracles from stories in the Bible, but I didn’t expect Moses to come along and part the Red Sea. I didn’t expect God to keep three young men from burning to death in a fiery furnace. I didn’t expect Jesus to come heal the sick.

But my Aunt Bessie did expect miracles. It took me awhile to understand, but Aunt Bessie’s influence finally rubbed off on me — because I expect miracles today, whether they make sense or not.

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Why do so many find it funny to embarrass the people they love?

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I grew up in a family where insults were the dominant form of humor. We made fun of each other all the time. If you had listened to our insults, you would have assumed we were all ugly and stupid and useless.

It’s all fun. Laugh it up. Don’t be hurt. Just throw an insult back at the other person. Be as cruel as you want. Make fun of her face. Tell him how stupid he is. Whatever. Just laugh and don’t complain.

I was really good at insults. I’d practiced all my life and honed my skills. If I found out you worried that your nose was too big — a real example with a friend in high school — I would mercilessly attack you and make fun of your “big nose.” Isn’t it funny? Don’t you love it?

It wasn’t until I was in college that I realized I had been hurting other people. What’s more, I realized how much I’d been hurt by all the mindless insults. I completely changed the way I used humor. I was not going to hurt people anymore.

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