“So who’s gonna watch you die?”
Fifteen years after I first heard that line in the chorus of a Death Cab for Cutie song, it remains one of the most devastating questions I’ve heard. It was a gut punch to me because I didn’t know the answer for myself — and I still don’t.
In the song, “What Sarah Said,” the singer recalls being in a hospital watching and waiting as a loved one dies. (You can listen to the song below.) He recounts all the sights and sounds and smells of the intensive care unit. Then he says what’s really on his mind:
But I’m thinking of what Sarah said:
“Love is watching someone die…”
I’ve been thinking about life and death even more than usual lately. I keep thinking that the real answer to the question — of who’s going to be there — is about mutual trust. So who do you trust — who also wants to trust you?

You never know when someone needs a hug — to know you care
I don’t know how to amuse you into taking your future seriously
Police threaten to seize my camera for crime of public photography
I don’t care where Pedro is from, but I’m happy he’s my neighbor
Humans are most heroic in small moments of caring for each other
‘Thanks for sharing your process’ is wiser than responding in anger
Hearing what your gut whispers might save you from wrong path
I’m trying to silence inner critic who says I ought to be perfect