I sometimes disappoint myself. I guess we all do sometimes, but I don’t know what it’s like to be inside your secret thoughts. I can’t see the dark lust you might have hidden in your heart.
But I know the dark longings that come from my ego — and I often have to remind myself who I am. And what my values are.
I crave attention. I lust for success. I want money and adulation from others. Despite the insecure parts of me which question my value, my ego secretly whispers that I deserve all these things. Deep down, I believe I’m great.
In such moments of weakness, I have to remind myself what matters.
Let me tell you about an artist who I admire greatly. There’s an excellent chance you’ve never heard of Steve Taylor. He was a brilliant rock musician in the 1980s and early ’90s whose music was aimed at the Christian market. He rocked hard. His lyrics were razor-sharp and witty. He mocked sacred cows inside the church and in modern culture, too.
Only a small group of weirdos in the church understood what he was doing. Most people were scandalized by him or simply didn’t understand what it was all about. I loved his work.

Of all the world’s contradictions, our own actions confuse us most
Hurt people attract others who know what it’s like to feel hurt
Goodbye, Anne (2009-2019)
You can’t see inside my heart, but my words invite you to know me
We’re all prisoners of a culture which demands that we conform
Who were you before someone told you who you were supposed to be?
Romantic interest no easier now than it was for me in sixth grade
Successful CEO walks away from job after daughter’s challenge