In order to show how much they care, the folks in the White House have set up a website for people to make petitions about issues they care about. What the politicians didn’t count on was someone using their system to satirize how vapid and condescending the actual responses are.
Any sane and realistic person knows that the administration doesn’t care how many petitions you sign. (It’s not just this one, of course. No administration cares about petitions, contrary to what many people assume.) It’s only interested in how many votes you can deliver and how many dollars you can give.
For the rest of us, they’re just interested in placating us. They’ll pretend to listen. They’ll write boilerplate responses. They might even promise a pony sometimes. But it’s not going to change reality.
The White House petition system is for PR purposes, pure and simple. We all know that. And when politicians go through the motions of pretending to take us seriously, it’s condescending. So here’s a petition that I hope you’ll actually consider signing:
Learning to be an emotional man helped me to overcome numb past
Google’s new glasses: Geeky dream or just more information overload?
I fear nobody will come with me as I start down a difficult path

FRIDAY FUNNIES
Who were you before someone told you who you were supposed to be?
House design reflects our vision and helps shape who we become
After years of silence, it’s time to tell the truth about my father
‘Make no little plans. They have no magic to stir men’s blood… Make big plans’