“So who’s gonna watch you die?”
Fifteen years after I first heard that line in the chorus of a Death Cab for Cutie song, it remains one of the most devastating questions I’ve heard. It was a gut punch to me because I didn’t know the answer for myself — and I still don’t.
In the song, “What Sarah Said,” the singer recalls being in a hospital watching and waiting as a loved one dies. (You can listen to the song below.) He recounts all the sights and sounds and smells of the intensive care unit. Then he says what’s really on his mind:
But I’m thinking of what Sarah said:
“Love is watching someone die…”
I’ve been thinking about life and death even more than usual lately. I keep thinking that the real answer to the question — of who’s going to be there — is about mutual trust. So who do you trust — who also wants to trust you?

This is my private confessional; the truths I write often scare me
Will rising anger about personal economic pain lead to trouble soon?
At times, we have to just wait for the day when we’ll see the fruit
What happened when a coach valued discipline over winning?
Learning to be an emotional man helped me to overcome numb past
The best romantic relationships end up becoming mutual rescue
To unlock your heart for real love, you must embrace vulnerability
When I feel too much ambition, my ego has gotten too inflated