At every stage of my life, I’ve raged against authority — because my father made me so terrified of being controlled — but I’ve also begged for someone to give me permission to pursue what I wanted.
I needed some authority’s approval and permission, but I was angry that I didn’t feel as though I could just stand on my own. Every time I’ve wanted to throw myself into some project — such as a new business — I’ve felt as though I was paralyzed — until someone gave me permission.
After all these years, I’ve still been unconsciously waiting for my father to give me permission to be myself.
This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or can can watch this video below.

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We often value a love only after we’ve carelessly thrown it away
Outraged folks around world letting Diane Tran know she’s not alone
What does it take to hold thug with a badge accountable for murder?
Our life choices dictate who will be there when it’s our time to die
Your narratives shape your politics, religion, friendships, relationships
I’ll never really know my mother and I’m envious of those who do
Don’t be shocked if insane system produces narcissistic leaders