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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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If majority rule is such a great idea, why don’t we vote on toothpaste?

By David McElroy · December 17, 2011

I have an idea. Instead of letting everyone make his own choices about which products to buy, I think we should extend voting to consumer products. We’ll call it Consumer Democracy.

Since it’s obviously inefficient and confusing to let greedy companies produce different brands and different models of phones, computers, televisions and so forth, we’ll let the companies stage a campaign for their products. Then we’ll vote — and everyone will have to buy that product for the next four years. It will be the only product of its kind allowed on the market. Wouldn’t that be a great idea?

If you don’t think this is a good idea, why would you believe in a system that does exactly the same thing for what are supposed to be the most important decisions in our lives?

Governments generally control our protection against crime and fire. They control where our roads are going to go. Many of them control the water we drink and other utilities that come to our homes. They decide which companies and people are going to be given the money they take out of our pockets.

And they get to decide how much money to take out of our pockets. Not only that, they can send people with guns to our homes to throw us into jail if we don’t co-operate with their theft.

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FRIDAY FUNNIES

By David McElroy · December 16, 2011

As you get ready for Christmas goodies, keep in mind that some people in your life need you to bring a different set of aesthetic sensibilities to the decorating part of the project.

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Despite promise of new tech, today’s journalism is just trivia

By David McElroy · December 16, 2011

When I was a little boy, I was an avid newspaper reader. As far back as I can remember, I would scour the newspaper every day, looking at the stories, pictures and (especially) “the funnies.” It always amazed me to realize that there was exactly enough news to fill all the pages.

When I finally started working on newspapers myself, I found out the awful truth. Stories were savagely cut to fit the space available. If an ad size changed, a story had to change to fit the space left over. The news wasn’t the primary purpose of the paper. The ads were. The news content existed only to attract readers to look at the ads.

The New York Times’ famous slogan is, “All the news that’s fit to print,” but when I was an editor, we sometimes said our slogan was, “All the news that fits, we print.”

I’ve been thinking about this lately because I’m increasingly aware that the explosion of available “news hole” for media outlets hasn’t resulted in better news for the public. Instead, it’s resulted in financially struggling media companies spreading their resources even thinner — which has produced shallow content with little original reporting and even less in the way of context.

Here’s an example. The local newspaper here is a typical medium-big metro newspaper owned by the Newhouse chain (with the same poorly designed website that all of the Newhouse papers use). I read a story there earlier today that’s a perfect example of news outlets just filling up space. Take a look. It’s called, “Birmingham-Shuttlesworth International Airport sees less traffic in October, November.” Interesting, huh?

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Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
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Critter Instagram

Oliver is the only one of the cats still hanging o Oliver is the only one of the cats still hanging out with me at almost 2 a.m. Alex and Sam have already gone to the office, but Oliver has been on the bed near me while I’ve been writing. But he’s finally given up and gone to sleep.
Alex just came to the bedroom to remind me that I Alex just came to the bedroom to remind me that I haven’t yet gotten around to feeding him — and he’s making it clear that I will pay for this transgression with my very soul unless I act quickly.
Alex has been busy with his daily “castle destruct Alex has been busy with his daily “castle destruction” duties — as you can see on the column at the left — so he’s about ready to spend the rest of the day recovering from this hard work.
At midnight, Oliver posed on the mantle for me. Al At midnight, Oliver posed on the mantle for me. All the lights were off in the office except for on light over the window right next to the mantle, so it worked as a spotlight for him.
When Sam was watching Oliver — see photo from a fe When Sam was watching Oliver — see photo from a few minutes ago — this is what Oliver was doing on the mantle. He was watching out the window, not planning a sneak attack on his little brother.
Just before sunset, Sam was in his favorite window Just before sunset, Sam was in his favorite window Friday evening. Oliver was on the fireplace mantle above him, so he was watching carefully to be sure he wasn’t about to be attacked from the high ground.
I went up tell the cats that I have to leave for t I went up tell the cats that I have to leave for the rest of the afternoon, but Alex didn’t seem too concerned about my looming absence. 😺
As I sit in the bedroom writing Wednesday evening, As I sit in the bedroom writing Wednesday evening, all three cats are on the bed next to me. Alex and Oliver have been grooming each other. And you can even hear crickets outside. It’s a peaceful household right now.
I just came back home long enough to change clothe I just came back home long enough to change clothes and Oliver quickly assumed his rightful position of the throne of his human. He’s just lying here purring loudly.
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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