Valentine’s Day in this culture is all about love stories and feel-good fantasy. But what about those of us who don’t have love — those of us whose hearts are broken by need and emptiness?
For me, love has been closely associated with painful longing recently. I’m torn about what to think about this, because I feel something strongly that I perceive as the truth, but some psychologists and writers say that’s not healthy.
“Deep painful longing, yearning and craving are not characteristics of love,” writes Shari Schreiber, for instance. “If you think they are, you were emotionally programmed to believe this in childhood, when you couldn’t get your adoration for mother returned.”
If I’m deceiving myself about love, then our culture is filled with music from people who are similarly deceived by their longing. For Valentine’s Day, I’ve created a list of 10 songs that fall into that category. These aren’t songs about happy love. These are songs for those of us who are alone — and who are longing for love we can’t have.

Latest shutdown means most papers where I worked are gone
I want my children surrounded by tools of creation, not consumption
Are government employee unions making the rest of us unsafe?
Some moms can’t handle the job, but they do the best they can
The more I see of death, the more determined I am to live life fully
As a child, I was a capable liar, because I mimicked a narcissist
UPDATE: Judge drops charges against Diane Tran; $100,000 raised
Goodbye, Emily (2009-2015)