Valentine’s Day in this culture is all about love stories and feel-good fantasy. But what about those of us who don’t have love — those of us whose hearts are broken by need and emptiness?
For me, love has been closely associated with painful longing recently. I’m torn about what to think about this, because I feel something strongly that I perceive as the truth, but some psychologists and writers say that’s not healthy.
“Deep painful longing, yearning and craving are not characteristics of love,” writes Shari Schreiber, for instance. “If you think they are, you were emotionally programmed to believe this in childhood, when you couldn’t get your adoration for mother returned.”
If I’m deceiving myself about love, then our culture is filled with music from people who are similarly deceived by their longing. For Valentine’s Day, I’ve created a list of 10 songs that fall into that category. These aren’t songs about happy love. These are songs for those of us who are alone — and who are longing for love we can’t have.

I’ve always done my best work when I’m allowed to fix things
Ron Paul isn’t a racist, but the old newsletters need a credible response
When you’re finally facing death, how many people will love you?
Serious medical issue will limit
What makes someone want you enough to make you a priority?
My father’s death was proof that unhappiness quickly kills a man
Was Columbus a hero or a special kind of evil monster? Neither one
It’s odd how ‘choice’ can mean ‘no choice’ with the state involved