My life has become a long quest to resolve a crisis of faith.
It’s not just about religion or theology, though. It’s about all of life. I didn’t even recognize what was going on when it started. At one point, everything made sense. I had a coherent worldview. That’s what I thought anyway — until the foundations of my life broke down, one by one.
When I was young, everything made sense to me. I had what seemed to be a coherent “theory of everything.” I knew The Truth, not because I had found something, but simply because I had grown up being taught exactly how things ought to be.
My understanding of The Truth wasn’t just about theology or God or anything so narrow. I had an integrated set of beliefs about reality. About everything. They all fit together — like the parts of a beautiful building.
My “theory of everything” was a work of great art which had been designed with mathematical precision — by an architect who was also a great engineer.
The central pillar of that structure of beliefs was my father. Even though I now understand that my family was deeply dysfunctional, I believed that everything my father taught me was right and good. I got angry with him at times and I pushed back in small ways, but I was ultimately too afraid to rebel against this god-like father who ruled my life.

‘What’s the worth of one warm smile? Go and ask the dead man’
Freedom of the press is for everyone, not just those recognized by feds
Real love is spiritual experience that connects me to the cosmos
Politicians have no right dictating the menu of your kid’s Happy Meal
How many warnings can life give us when something’s gone wrong?
In cold and dehumanized culture, many yearn to feel human again
Why does most love hurt us? Because one usually loves more
Out of touch: Most politicians, media don’t understand ‘the real world’