“So who’s gonna watch you die?”
Fifteen years after I first heard that line in the chorus of a Death Cab for Cutie song, it remains one of the most devastating questions I’ve heard. It was a gut punch to me because I didn’t know the answer for myself — and I still don’t.
In the song, “What Sarah Said,” the singer recalls being in a hospital watching and waiting as a loved one dies. (You can listen to the song below.) He recounts all the sights and sounds and smells of the intensive care unit. Then he says what’s really on his mind:
But I’m thinking of what Sarah said:
“Love is watching someone die…”
I’ve been thinking about life and death even more than usual lately. I keep thinking that the real answer to the question — of who’s going to be there — is about mutual trust. So who do you trust — who also wants to trust you?

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My teen hijinks were silly fun, not alcohol-fueled drunken groping
Peace won’t come until you quit obeying long-gone programmers
Banning access to guns won’t prevent the evil in human hearts
Be very afraid of men (or women) who question your patriotism
Both sides of gun debate see what they want to see in D.C. shooting
Starved for love: Portrait of a plastic person living a little plastic life
When you make your life choices, you also pick the consequences
Brush with high-speed blowout leaves me thinking about death