“I’m really messed up, aren’t I?”
As my friend said these words to me, her big blue eyes looked at me searchingly. It felt as though half of her needed me to confirm this terrible thing she knew, but the other half needed me to tell her she was really OK.
Laura had just spent the last half hour confessing her sins and trying to understand why she was doing things she didn’t consciously want to do. She was confused. She was angry with herself. And she was hurting.
She has a boyfriend who she assures me is wonderful. (I haven’t met him, so I can’t say.) He’s perfect in every way, she says, both as a man and as someone who she would hope to marry. She admits that he doesn’t understand her (and never will) and that he makes her uncomfortable at times, but he still checks all the “husband material” check boxes in her mind.
What she doesn’t understand is why she’s pushing him away — and she doesn’t understand why she cheated on him.

Freedom lovers, why do so many of you still blindly trust the GOP?
If authentic connection is absent, we crave love and a human touch
It’s hard for me to condemn liars when I’ve been such a liar myself
Chappelle is offensive and crude, but what he’s doing is important
Free speech is our natural right, not a gift granted by politicians
Delusional Democrats help Trump re-election by chasing phantoms
Rhetoric about freedom means nothing without right to secede
What’s at the root of objections to real freedom? Paternalism
I’ve lost all interest in begging anyone to fix the political system