
We are strangers, we are aliens
We are not of this world
— “Not of This World,” Petra
Every time I observe groups of teen-agers interact, I’m reminded of why I disliked that period of my life so much. For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt like an alien on this planet, but there was something about those years that made it seem more acute and more painful. It was the start of realizing just how different I am.
For some teens, there’s a casualness to their social interaction that I never felt. I eventually learned to fake it well, but I never quit feeling like a stranger in a strange land.
By high school, I had leadership roles at church and at school, but I never lost the feeling that I was an actor playing a part when I was with others — like some kind of alien wearing a disguise as a human. It was then that I realized I never felt as alone as I did in crowds.
I was thinking about this again Friday night because of sitting in a restaurant watching a group of teens interact. There’s a part of me that wants to say that they made me uncomfortable with the forced casualness of their time together, but there’s another part of me that wonders if they really are casual and natural together — and it’s the fact that they can do that so easily with random people that makes me uncomfortable — because I can’t.
If you don’t have a burden in life, you probably won’t achieve much
‘Just do exactly what we say to do; it’s for your own good, you know’
If romantic love is real and true, does it never really fade away?
Goodbye, Thomas (2006?-2023)
When times turn too dark in my life, I’m grateful for furry antidepressant
Every addiction is heart’s effort to fill inner hole that requires love
The things you do in life are largely determined by who you decide to be
Theft is biggest problem with customers not tipping gay server
The hole is always there, but I foolishly hope it’ll just go away