I sometimes disappoint myself. I guess we all do sometimes, but I don’t know what it’s like to be inside your secret thoughts. I can’t see the dark lust you might have hidden in your heart.
But I know the dark longings that come from my ego — and I often have to remind myself who I am. And what my values are.
I crave attention. I lust for success. I want money and adulation from others. Despite the insecure parts of me which question my value, my ego secretly whispers that I deserve all these things. Deep down, I believe I’m great.
In such moments of weakness, I have to remind myself what matters.
Let me tell you about an artist who I admire greatly. There’s an excellent chance you’ve never heard of Steve Taylor. He was a brilliant rock musician in the 1980s and early ’90s whose music was aimed at the Christian market. He rocked hard. His lyrics were razor-sharp and witty. He mocked sacred cows inside the church and in modern culture, too.
Only a small group of weirdos in the church understood what he was doing. Most people were scandalized by him or simply didn’t understand what it was all about. I loved his work.

After years of silence, it’s time to tell the truth about my father
Deconstructing my old life’s hard, but I’m learning to be healthier
I’m the common denominator in all of my failed relationships
Unexpected proposal leaves me pondering my craving to be loved
Hermit life looks good as world tries to make me a misanthrope
Mass. principal cancels honors night so losers won’t have hurt feelings
Whether it makes sense or not, I’ve learned to expect miracles
I need a romantic partner who’s already facing her inner demons