I feel like a contradiction lately.
I want to withdraw from the modern world — from the intellectual, psychological and spiritual rot that’s leading humanity down an ugly path — but I don’t want to give up the conveniences that have come with that modern world.
I suspect the internal rot which I see around me inevitably comes right along with the technological marvels we’re building for ourselves — and it requires some kind of terrible tradeoff that I don’t want to make. I want to have the shiny technological toys with none of the downsides.
It’s hard to know where to strike a balance. On one side, there’s an Amish-like life of being grounded in the warmth of community and personal connection. It’s the ideal or fantasy of country life — of being rooted to land and a slower pace and more traditional values. On the other side is a post-modernist life of shallow connection with little meaning, but filled with technological progress and urban excitement — along with opportunities for success and wealth and ego gratification.

As our heroes grow old and die, it’s a reminder of our mortality
Childhood programming makes it hard to believe I’m ‘good enough’
Political action may seize power, but only ideas bring real change
Before you can rescue other folks, you have to learn to save yourself
Need for certainty is an internal tyranny that leads to the wrong path
As we enjoyed the sunset together, language and borders didn’t matter
Time with couple reminds me how much I miss good conversation