Think about the worst decision you’ve ever made — the one thing you know you should have done differently.
“If only someone could’ve warned me,” you might think. “If I had just known, everything would be different today.”
I’ve thought things similar to that. After things end in ways that make me unhappy, I tend to go back and find the one moment — and there usually is one moment — when I made a decision or took an action that caused what I’m unhappy about.
I’m prone to thinking how different things could be if I had a time machine to go back to that moment. But I wonder whether that’s true.
I found out this evening that a young woman who I casually know has gotten engaged. She hasn’t been dating the guy very long — and everyone who knows her seems to have very negative impressions of the way he treats her.
As she stood there this evening showing me her ring, I knew better than to express my misgivings. She wouldn’t listen — just as I suspect I wouldn’t have listened if someone had warned me before my own major mistakes.

How could we take responsibility but avoid self-destructive shame?
U.S. wasted $60 billion in war funds: Is anyone honestly surprised?
Narcissists set themselves up for miserable lives and lonely deaths
After chimp’s mother died, mama dog raised baby as one of her pups
Unjustified panic: Why are you so scared of all the wrong things?
Women, you perpetuate this by reproducing with these lewd jerks
Years later, I see that I was an outsider who could never fit in