When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

Corrupt Trump isn’t even hiding half-billion dollar bribe anymore
Without courage to take action, day will come when it’s too late
The plan sounded fair at the time, but why did I pay for everything?
Union rules protect pepper-spraying cop from the firing he deserves
Depression can be mind’s way of saying, ‘Hey, we’re way off track’
The gifts we give children shape them and reveal what we expect of them
Love’s hard to kill, but warm heart finally turns to cold indifference
Goodbye, Thomas (1994-2012)
Lack of specific needs and wants makes my world feel meaningless