When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.
A year later, late-night phone call and suicide threat still echo in me
If we always beat ourselves up, how will we ever heal and grow?
Why let your enemy control you by choosing to listen to his hate?
House design reflects our vision and helps shape who we become
Science or bias? What if there’s no proof that eating fat will kill you?
Here’s the jobs growth Obama promised—in federal workers
The so-called ‘social contract’ is a sham to control you
‘Self government’ means you govern yourself, not obey your neighbors
Honesty, wisdom and insight teach that we have to live with uncertainty